The zoo is asking people to pay $10 to "name a roach" for a loved one this Valentine's Day. "Roses are red, violets are blue. Name a roach for your Valentine, Courtesy of the Bronx Zoo."
(Read More: Valentine's Day: The Cost of Showing Some Love.)
Not any roach. A Madagascar hissing roach. You can chose from any one of the 58,000 roaches on hand.
"Naming a Madagascar hissing roach in honor of someone near and dear to your heart shows that you've noticed how resilient, resourceful, and loyal that person is," the zoo proclaims. "You're not afraid to say, 'Baby, you're a roach!'"
If the Hubbanator ever tells me, "Baby, you're a roach!", it will be the last thing he says.
As ridiculous as the roach idea may sound—and it is ridiculous—it could be a godsend if you haven't figured out what to do for Valentine's Day yet. FedEx says one in three people procrastinate in buying a gift for Feb. 14, with men spending on average $114, while women get away with only $63. But, hey, the roach is only $10! Think of the impact it will make!
(Read More: Nothing Says 'I'm Yours' Like a Chocolate Head.)