I'd gone to a job-hunting workshop in my 20s, led by a savvy career coach. He gave lots of advice, including, "If you're ever invited for an interview in a faraway city, make sure to ask the following question."
I wrote the question down in my notebook, although it seemed nervy. A few months later, a recruiter called about a job in Florida.
After we scheduled an interview in Miami, I put the recruiter on hold for a few seconds. Then I dashed around the apartment, found the notebook, and flipped to the question.
"Will you be sending the plane ticket," I asked, "or would you prefer me to invoice you?" (Note: that's the "fries or shake," assumptive close.)
After a short pause, which seemed endless, the recruiter agreed to the invoice.
So I went to Miami. I didn't get the job, but not because of the question. Today, that question seems tame, and worth asking.
Does that mean assumptive questions are ok? Well, depends on the context. And that reminds me of something else the career coach said:
"For 95% of you, when you think you're being obnoxiously aggressive, you're really just being appropriately assertive."
Good advice. Unless you're in that 5%.
Tip: Avoid asking loaded questions. At least 95% of the time.