Scope's commercial on YouTube describes the previous "crowning achievements of bacon." It's first crowning achievement? Being bacon. Other achievements include carbonated bacon, "spreadable bacon," bacon shaving cream, and my favorite, a bacon Kevin Bacon portrait. Now comes the bacon mouthwash, "for breath that sizzles."
You may think me crazy for wanting to buy a product which makes my breath smell like bacon ... unless you like the smell of bacon. AND WHO DOESN'T? However, Scope claims the bacon-flavored mouthwash only tastes like bacon while you swish, "but leaves your breath smelling minty fresh 5 times longer than brushing alone."
How can such a perfect product possibly exist?
Well...
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Being the hard-nosed, cynical investigative journalist that I am, I took the 30 seconds necessary to call Scope's parent company, Proctor & Gamble, shoot out an email, and tweet the Scope team on Twitter. I dug deep.
I soon got a call back from the outside public relations firm working with Scope on the bacon mouthwash launch.
"Is this real?" I asked with a steely-eyed voice, if a voice can be steely-eyed. "I don't really know myself," she replied after a pause. Looking at the calendar I saw that Monday is April Fool's. "Is this an early April Fool's joke?" I queried with intensity. Uncomfortable pause. "I'm going to play coy with you, Jane." She told me she would have "more information … next week."
My incredibly accurate instincts tell me something is afoot. I'm no longer smelling bacon. I'm smelling a delicious prank.
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Too bad, because I would have bought the mouthwash. It would make a great gift for every meat-eating man I know, and since no pigs would actually be used in the flavoring process (according to Scope's FAQs), even vegans could get a taste of what they've been missing.
So now what? With no bacon mouthwash, what can we hope for? One friend suggested beer-flavored mouthwash. "I already have that," I told him. "It's called beer."
—By CNBC's Jane Wells; Follow her on Twitter: @janewells