Happy Wednesday. ... Well, it is if your name isn't Jamie Dimon. Have a six-pack and find out why:
Remember when the narrative on JPMorgan Chase was how the bank had done so well during the financial crisis and avoided the pitfalls of its Wall Street competitors? Those were the good old days, weren't they? With apologies to the Five Man Electrical Band, now, the song goes, "fines, fines, everywhere a fine."
The good news is that if you don't work at JPMorgan, things are more or less getting back to normal for people on the Street, as the re-emergence of the fabled McMansion in the Hamptons attests.
This next banking item is funny. We're not sure whether it's "ha ha" funny or—cue the Richie Cunningham voice—"heh, heh, heh" funny. But it's funny. Lawyers for the bad boys in the Financial District have collected some $103 billion in legal fees related to all the financial crisis misbehavior. Still not laughing? Come on!
Last week, I did an interview with WRKO-AM in Boston during which host Barry Armstrong suggested that Larry Summers' getting the Federal Reserve chairmanship would be sweet for newshounds looking for entertainment. I was sure I didn't know what he meant. Anyway, there is a case to be made for Chairman Summers.
Tired of bank news? Here's something: We weren't even aware that there was a "shale bubble," but if there was it may already have burst while we weren't even looking.
And, finally. ... Scared of big financial institutions? Here is a neat CNBC.com slideshow that details the world's 10 safest banks.
—By CNBC's Jeff Cox. Follow him
@JeffCoxCNBCcom on Twitter.