GO
Loading...

Those crazy Bloomberg headlines might be gone soon

Bloomberg computer terminal at the NYSE.
Adam Jeffery | CNBC
Bloomberg computer terminal at the NYSE.

Anyone with a Bloomberg terminal has seen them: Those oddball headlines that can't seem to make sense to anyone.

Whether it's "Penguins Not Protests on Turkish TV Fuel Anger," or "Giraffe Mulling Suicide as 'Terrorists' Chant in Cairo," or some other bizarre variant, most any owner of the ubiquitous trading-floor machines has puzzled over at least a few story titles.

Their days, though, may be numbered if a recent company directive is followed.

(Read more: Tech execs behaving badly: You really said that?)

Bloomberg's Clark Hoyt said in a review of the company's news service performance dated Aug. 21 that it needed to get better at headline writing.

Hoyt even cited a few examples of what needs to change:

Though not brought up in interviews by clients, several editors acknowledged that headline clarity can sometimes be an issue. From the three-month review period, many examples were found. Here is a small selection to illustrate the point:

"DSM's Flirt With Red Hot Mamas Cuts Investor Love for Plastics"

"Brokers Go Gray as Youth Proves Unsustainable With No Cold Calls"

"Cold War With Soup Tempts East Europeans to Menus of HBO, Sony"

"DoCoMo Cash, Girl Band Help Beat Softbank on Costs: Japan Credit"

To be sure, every news organization struggles with headlines from time to time, and CNBC.com is certainly no exception.

(Read more: Newspaper bane: Nobody reads the stories anymore)

But Bloomberg's obtusity has become legendary.

Some more examples, as cited in a report on the changes by Quartz (read it here):

Kill Your Wife While Sleepwalking or Get Goldman Touch

Forex During Birth Shows Asian Women Top Men Private Bankers

Shark Oil for HIV Shot Takes Cue From Hemingway's Old Man

Turns out there's even a website that features oddball Bloomberg headlines, as well as at least one Twitter parody account.

However, those compiling the heinous heads acknowledge they're cutting tougher to find, according to Quartz, so the fun may be coming to an end soon.

By CNBC's Jeff Cox. Follow him @JeffCoxCNBCcom on Twitter.

NetNet TV

Wall Street