Once again, the folks at Wall Street consulting and PR firm Cognito has come up with their Financial Holiday Cocktail Menu. So what's on the menu? This year's treats include:
- Mary Jo White Russian: A stiff prescription, feminine but also aggressive—serve with a dash of Triple SEC. (I say it must also come completely unadorned. No twists, olives or umbrellas.)
- SAC Breeze: Don't settle for anything less.This mix of vodka, cranberry and grapefruit is delicious but could cost you $1.2 billion. (How about the JPMore-garita? It costs $13 billion and leaves top executives fresh without a hangover!)
- The Smashtag: I.P.Oh so delicious. A potential volatile blend of 140 flavors—and a public favorite! (Serve for friends who, like Twitter, aren't profitable.)
- The Debt Peeling: Laden with orange peels, this take on the Manhattan is guaranteed to raise the Roof but could bring down the House! (A nonalcoholic version is called the Ted Cruz.)
- "Obamacared" for an additional treat: Just add Healthcare.gov to any order, and it comes on the rocks.