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Squawking Henny Youngman, supermodels, selloff

Talking Squawk, the official "Squawk Box" blog, provides tidbits, insights and some sarcastic reflections on the WEEK THAT WAS and the WEEK TO COME from the notepad of the show's senior executive producer.

Investing legend

He's a nominee for our CNBC First 25 look at the top business leaders, icons and rebels. Vanguard founder Jack Bogle changed the world of investing by basically creating the index fund. He said he created a revolution.

Bogle also said Thursday that investors shouldn't worry too much about recent chaos in the emerging markets.

Friday selloff

The sharp drop Friday morning could shake anyone's resolve. But not JPMorgan chief U.S. equity strategist Tom Lee. He said it could be painful in the next couple weeks, but he does not see a 10 percent correction in the cards for stocks.

Turkey talk

EMERGING THREAT! Cue the special TV crisis graphic animation.

You know we're at that point when we throw our Senior International Correspondent Michelle Caruso-Cabrera (@MCaruso_Cabrera) and her trusty producer Katie Slaman (@katieslaman) on a plane and into the heat of the crisis. (The only problem with the heat reference? It's was freezing in Turkey!)

'Small ball'

What did you think of President Barack Obama's State of the Union speech on Tuesday night?

In his State of the Union speech, President Barack Obama said he would ask for the creation of a new retirement fund product.
Getty Images
In his State of the Union speech, President Barack Obama said he would ask for the creation of a new retirement fund product.

House Budget Committee Chairman Paul Ryan called the whole exercise nothing more than "small ball." The Wisconsin Republican said the address didn't contain any new ideas. He also argued that the president should not be taking credit for the U.S. natural gas boom.

Ryan may not be praising the president's speech, but Sen. Heidi Heitkamp, D-N.D., was quick to point out it was aimed at providing some financial relief for middle class by pushing to raise the minimum wage and introducing the "myRA" retirement savings plan. (It's kind of an awkward name. Is it "my-R-A" or "my-RA"? Co-host Andrew Ross Sorkin couldn't make up his mind.)

View from the top

He's the former chairman and CEO of Time Warner and the former chairman of Citigroup.

But more importantly, Dick Parsons is a "Squawk Box" guest host! Check out his thoughts on emerging markets, the nation's crumbling infrastructure and liquidity in the U.S. markets.

The smart money

He's a hedge fund titan. His stock picks consistently seem to earn solid returns. And he's on the hunt for value. He is none other than Leon Cooperman, CEO of Omega Advisors.

Bitcoin again

What would a week on "Squawk Box" be without a bitcoin segment?

Phoning it in

We love him because he reminds us of Dr. Evil from the Austin Powers movies, but everybody knows Mark Mobius of Templeton is as one of the world's foremost experts in emerging markets.

So when those markets started going bonkers this week, we tracked him down. (He literally travels the world all year looking for investment opportunities. This time we found him in a hotel in South Africa.)

Is Mobius worried about the Fed and its impact on emerging markets? Here's the answer.

Making things better

We love to profile philanthropic efforts aimed at making our planet a better place to live.

Supermodel Petra Nemcova, who survived the Indonesian tsunami 10 years ago, is dedicating a lot of her time trying to help people in Haiti.

For more information, check out her website and follow her on Twitter at @pnemcova.

What crisis?

A Chinese banking crisis?

Billionaire vulture investor Wilbur Ross knows a crisis when he sees one. He likes to buy stuff when a crisis becomes more like desperation. And he's really good at it. That's why he's rich.

But right now he thinks these worries about China's banking system are a bit overblown.

Dogfish Head

Craft beer is hot, and Dogfish Head (named for a location off the coast of Maine) is growing almost faster than the maker can keep up with. (Of course, this was a perfect excuse to invite them on the show so we can all drink on set.)

Henny Youngman

"Squawk Box" co-host Joe Kernen went on a Henny Youngman kick Thursday.

Henny Youngman in 1992
Ron Galella | WireImage | Getty Images
Henny Youngman in 1992

Here's a brief sample of the legendary comedian's work.

  • A doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill, so he gave him another six months.
  • A man goes to a psychiatrist. The doctor says, "You're crazy" The man says, "I want a second opinion!" "OK, you're ugly too!"
  • I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport.
  • I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
  • My wife and I have the secret to making a marriage last. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, a little wine, good food. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
  • A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says, "You've been brought here for drinking." The drunk says, "OK, let's get started."

Send your favorite Henny Youngman jokes to Joe on Twitter at @JoeSquawk!

Economic calendar

  • Monday: Car Sales, Construction Spending
  • Tuesday: Factory Orders
  • Wednesday: ADP Private Employment Report
  • Thursday: Weekly Jobless Claims, Trade Gap, Productivity and Costs
  • Friday: January Employment Report

Mark your calendar (or set your DVR)

  • Monday: Erskine Bowles; Judd Gregg; Ted Leonsis; Sen. Ron Wyden, D-Ore.
  • Tuesday: Barry Knapp of Barclays; Tom Naratil, chief financial officer at UBS; Strauss Zelink, Take-Two Interactive CEO
  • Wednesday: Sir Andrew Witty, GlaxoSmithKline CEO
  • Thursday: Bob Lutz, former GM vice chairman; Tim Armstrong, AOL CEO; Stacy Smith, Intel CFO
  • Friday: "Squawk Box" live from Pebble Beach at the AT&T Pro-Am! Scott McNealy; Alan Greenspan; CEOs of PGA Tour Superstore, Waste Management, Kimberly Clark; and by the way, it's jobs Friday!

The Corny-Sappy Motivational Business-Based Inspirational Quote

"Life is too complicated not to be orderly."
Martha Stewart

—By CNBC's Matthew Quayle. Follow him on Twitter @matthew_quayle.

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Price
 
Change
%Change
BARC
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BJM
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ALL
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APC
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DUNKIN
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C
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CBOE
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DIS
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SU
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UBSN
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GRA
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K
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MCO
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TTWO
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YUM
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ADM
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GSK
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HUM
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WYN
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LINKEDIN
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BDX
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GM
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MRK
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NWSA
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NDAQ
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AOL
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BSX
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PM
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CLX
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INTC
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TEVA
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PANDORA
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GCI
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PRU
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T
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ZYGNA
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IP
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RL
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R
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TWX
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TWTR
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ATVI
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AET
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AZN
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