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Hate Google reading your mail? Get over it!

Google recently found explicit images of child in a Houston man's gmail account and sent them to the police. Turns out, that guy was a registered sex offender and that tip got him arrested. So yay, Google, for doing the right thing—right?

Wrong. While no one argued the merits of busting a child predator, outrage over this invasion of privacy — reading a person's private email — spread like wildfire on the Internet.

Google headquarters.
Justin Solomon | CNBC
Google headquarters.

Here are a few samples from the comments section of a story about this:

"Google has no right to examine your email, no more than the Post Office has the right to open and examine your letters."

"Despite the laudable outcome of their illegal act, they should be charged for this and people should be sent to jail."

"I think the children have far more to fear growing up in a police state with no privacy, total surveillance, and all powerful federal government than they do from some guy jerking off in his basement."

I am a strong believer in libertarian principles. I believe in personal autonomy, freedom of choice and limited government interference. So I am not happy about Google or anyone invading my privacy. And granted, a lot of the comments written at the end of articles are to be taken with a grain of salt. Many of the negative comments are from a bunch of wackos that hide behind their computers and just criticize anything and everything.

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I am not interested in protecting the rights of villains like pedophiles, terrorists and defenders of Justin Bieber. They should be outed to the world. But here are some basic truths about why we shouldn't get so upset about this:

Google is free. What do you expect for free? Google tells you of their privacy rules when you sign up for their FREE service. The company admits it scans your email for key words. (Look that's on you if you clicked "I agree" without reading the fine print.) They give you a free service and then use the free information you give them to collect personal information on you. Then try and profit off this information with targeted ads. How else do you expect them to make money?

It seems that we want Google to provide us a free service, use the technology they built and then demand they don't use our stored information.

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I informally asked the question about Google privacy to a bunch of people. Almost everyone said Google should keep their emails private. Then I asked the same people if Google charged $1.99 a month to keep it private would you pay? And the answer was a resounding "No, I wouldn't pay the extra money." So for less than $24 a year it isn't that important to keep private. Which brings me to my next point.

Nobody really cares. The irony is the people that care most about their privacy, are the people that have the emails that are the most uninteresting. Let's face it. Nobody really cares about reading your email except for companies trying to sell you stuff. Look, I don't want Google reading my secret recipe for spaghetti and meatballs. I don't want the NSA reading my creepy stalker text messages to that red headed cashier at Target. But get over yourselves! You aren't important enough to be watched. If you are that important, then take the necessary steps to protect yourself.

Source: Google

(Seriously, nobody cares about most of what's in your email — definitely not your trip to the botanical gardens.)

Stop being stupid on the Internet. I am amazed that people get caught for crimes because of email and social media. People have been caught for doing crimes because of posting stuff on Facebook. How dumb is that?

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If you are going to share inside information on FDA approval of a drug, pick up the phone and call on a secure line. Stop being so lazy. If you are going to have an affair, don't go to Ashley Madison and email your info. Do it the old fashioned way. If you are going into the Witness Protection Program, don't tweet out your new identity. Remember we live in public more than ever.

Recently the NSA apologized for basically admitting to reading text messages and email of US citizens.

Now I am not happy about that but if you have nothing to hide then what's the big deal? Assume everything you email, everything you post on Facebook and every website you click on can be seen by others. Or don't use the internet and Social media.

And I think we have this NSA outrage thing all wrong. Instead of them apologizing to us, if anything, we should apologize to the person reading our emails. This poor sap has to read the back and forth with my Fantasy Football partner of why I like LeSean McCoy over Jamal Charles this year. He has to read my diatribe on why I think QE2 is a bust. He has to go through 69,000 photos from my trip to Southeast Asia. Talk about a boring job.

Imagine the MIT-educated computer genius, who went to work for the NSA because he loves America. He wanted to use his impressive computer skills to protect Americans from people trying to destroy our country like Al Qaeda, Hamas and Nancy Pelosi. Instead of fighting terrorists, his job entails going through hundreds of thousands of selfies from men taking pictures of their private parts. Talk about domestic terrorism.

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Commentary by Raj Malhotra (Raj Mahal is his stage name), a former Wall Street trader-turned-stand-up-comedian. He has worked at Wall Street firms covering three continents, including at Bank of America, BNP Paribas and Nomura. He draws from his unique ethnic background and Wall Street career to entertain audiences nightly, highlighting the struggles of the 1 percent. He can be seen at Gotham Comedy Club, Broadway Comedy Club, NY Comedy Club, Greenwich Village Comedy Club, and the Tribeca Comedy Lounge. Follow him on Twitter @RajMahalTweets.