Funny Business with Jane Wells


  Friday, 7 Sep 2007 | 2:05 PM ET

Diet As You Check Out? (And Yes, Bag Your Own)

Posted By: Jane Wells
Wanna lose weight? Use the "self check-out" line at the grocery store. That's according to a survey done on, wait, what's this? A survey determining that "self check-out" is great! The study, done by IHL Consulting, says one reason self check-out is great is because the average woman could lose 4.1 pounds a year scanning and bagging her own! »Read more
  Thursday, 6 Sep 2007 | 3:52 PM ET

Chickens Will Fly, If I have Anything To Do With It

Posted By: Jane Wells
I'm here outside Edwards Air Force Base holding up a dead chicken on TV. Naturally! Actually, I am doing a story on how the military plans to test jet fuel made from chicken fat ("Yes, Erin and Mark now chickens can finally fly! Ha! ha... heh). »Read more
  Thursday, 6 Sep 2007 | 8:37 AM ET

Hot Weather? Come To Fahrenheit 129

Posted By: Jane Wells
We have been sweltering out here in the West, which leads me to my two favorite hot business pitches: First... they're trying to get people to come up to the Canadian Rockies to celebrate the centennial of Jasper National Park. The pitch: come to the newly-refurbished Miette Hot Springs! Uh, ok. I did a little research. »Read more
  Tuesday, 4 Sep 2007 | 1:59 PM ET

The Perfect Contest: America's Ugliest Office

Posted By: Jane Wells
I have found it. The perfect contest for the miserable office worker. Acco Brands is sponsoring America’s Ugliest Office. Enter at www.americasugliestoffice.com and you have a shot at either a 42” HDTV, or a TRIP TO HAWAII. Talk about bringing hope to the downtrodden! One mock-up of an ugly office has the chair doubling as a toilet, so you never have to leave. Nice. The contest runs through Nov. 30, and, so far, Jerry’s home office in Columbus gets my vote. »Read more
  Friday, 31 Aug 2007 | 12:35 PM ET

KFC Has A 'Finger Lickin Good' Mail Call

Posted By: Jane Wells
KFC is trying to get people to buy its new $2.99 lunch deals by going door-to-door at the office. Literally. It is paying to put plates of chicken on company mail carts making the rounds in office buildings before lunch. »Read more
  Thursday, 30 Aug 2007 | 8:51 AM ET

A&P Market Rap Video: Eat To The Beets Anyone?

Posted By: Jane Wells
Two brothers from New Jersey have been fired from an A&P market for filming a rap video called “Produce Paradise.” Click here to check it out. Yes, it’s juvenile and somewhat disgusting, and it reminds us all to thoroughly rinse our veggies when we get home from the grocery store. »Read more
  Wednesday, 29 Aug 2007 | 9:49 AM ET

Weight Loss: It's Location, Location, Location?

Posted By: Jane Wells
Wanna lose weight? Buy a bigger house. Researchers at the University of Washington found that for every $100,000 more a house is worth, the homeowners are 2% less likely to be obese. So wealth=trim, poor=fat. Wealth=ability to afford the gym and time to care about looking good; poor=just trying to get through the day and eating lots of prepackaged mac n' cheese. This is news? »Read more
  Tuesday, 28 Aug 2007 | 8:13 AM ET

Mortgage Song Parodies: The Day The Loan Died

Posted By: Jane Wells
People, you need to start recording these on video and sending them to me...forget YouTube. Mortgage advisor Andrea S. says this song parody of Don McLean's "American Pie" came from a branch manager at a very, very big mortgage lender you may have heard of which is having trouble lately: »Read more
  Monday, 27 Aug 2007 | 4:49 PM ET

Females Like Pink Because They Picked Red Fruit?!

Posted By: Jane Wells
Girls like pink more than boys. Now, I know this totally blows away all your preconceived notions about gender and color. Oh wait. A visual neuroscientist, Dr. Anya Hurlbert, has determined that women do, in fact, like pink more than men. Actually, females like all reddish tones more than males. Why? We don't know why. But Dr. Hurlbert suggests in Current Biology that is goes back millions of years. »Read more
  Monday, 27 Aug 2007 | 3:58 PM ET

Jockey's Wedgie Proof Brief And The Butt Cam

Posted By: Jane Wells
Jockey has decided that to sell underwear, it needs to tell you how uncomfortable underwear makes you. Follow me here. Actually, don't follow me here because I've got nowhere to go with this one. At www.stopsquirming.com, the brief-maker tries the hot-hot-hot concept of "viral marketing" by showing how people react to wedgies created by "inferior undergarments." »Read more

About Funny Business with Jane Wells

  • If it was up to Jane Wells, she’d spend her entire day combing Mother Earth for stories and observations just for this blog. She has more fun writing Funny Business than anything else she does... professionally, that is. Funny business is whatever Jane considers hilarious, strange, fishy, or ridiculous, which pretty much covers everything on Wall Street. It is her hope this blog makes you smile, even when the news is grim. After all, it's only money.


  • Jane Wells

    Based in Los Angeles, Jane Wells is a CNBC business news reporter and also writes the Funny Business blog for CNBC.com.