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Funny Business with Jane Wells

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  Wednesday, 30 May 2007 | 11:18 AM ET

Princess of the Cubes, No eBay Love, Fruit Fly Contest Winner

Posted By: Jane Wells
A San Francisco-based author/career counselor is using the fairytale princesses in "Shrek the Third" to hawk a book called "Make the Right Career Move." Okay, it's a stretch, but the nuggets in the release are fun. Using the princess theme, author Rachelle Canter commissioned a survey of office workers on how many people work with "princesses." »Read more
  Tuesday, 29 May 2007 | 11:30 AM ET

Breast Charity, Not-so-Hot Domains, Hide-the-Burrito, Hearty Beer & More

Posted By: Jane Wells
The Burlesque Hall of Fame is teaming up with Keep A Breast Foundation to raise awareness about breast cancer. Well, one can see how this is, as the burlesque organization says, "a match made in heaven."Now, to raise awareness, the Hall of Fame next month reportedly will host an art exhibit and auction featuring plaster breast molds of "legendary burlesque, pin-up and cheesecake queens." The museums founder, it turns out, died of the disease in 1991. Her name, Jennie Lee, was known as "The Bazoom Girl." »Read more
  Wednesday, 23 May 2007 | 10:24 AM ET

Mid-week Mania

Posted By: Jane Wells
I am told by a very good source that Wal-Mart's headquarters in Bentonville has no test kitchen. The company that sells everything, including the kitchen sink... has none. A vendor coming to demo food at the world's largest retailer of food has "to cook in the Sam's Club employee lunch room, then wheel it over next door to Wal-Mart to present it." »Read more
  Tuesday, 22 May 2007 | 3:35 PM ET

Microsoft's Bad Karma, Hamsters, Un-PC Biz Idea of the Day & More

Posted By: Jane Wells
The company built by the world's richest man takes on the world's largest democracy, and it's a case of cyber culture clash. India-based itVAR News (an IT website) says Microsoft is billing computer retailers in the town of Gujarat thousands of dollars, accusing them of installing pirated Windows software.The retailers have responded with a strike, a boycott and general outrage, though no one appears to be denying the accusations. One Indian retailer put it this way, "Since we are not charging anything extra for installing the software, it means that we are actually not trading in pirated software. For us, this is just a 'sewa' (selfless act) that we are offering to our customers. Besides, the pricing of their operating systems is way too high for Indian markets." »Read more
  Monday, 21 May 2007 | 10:39 AM ET

Bugged Out Readers

Posted By: Jane Wells
"Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! It's a whisper campaign to replace Melvin the stock-picking monkey, who wants a new contract beyond the salary cap."- Judy B., Oklahoma"Of course fruit flys have free will!!!! - in fact, every morning I print out charts of active stocks and smear a little banana on the top of each page - I then open my fruit fly cage (where I keep my pet flies) and see which chart attracks the most flies - I then place my trade and watch the stock soar!!! Now if this doesn't beneift humanity, I don't know what does." - Granny »Read more
  Friday, 18 May 2007 | 1:16 AM ET

Best Waste, Feminine Colons & Wacky World

Posted By: Jane Wells
Someone please email me at funnybusiness@cnbc.com to explain how the following research can benefit humankind. I will post interesting replies, and the reader with the best explanation will win a CNBC cap (I know I have one around here somewhere).A group of researchers has determined that fruit flies have free will. It's comforting to know, I guess. How did the scientists figure this out? They put the flies in a uniformly-white environment, and then tethered their legs and watched them move. »Read more
  Wednesday, 16 May 2007 | 11:33 AM ET

Breaking Up, Dog Eat Dog World & Another Survey

Posted By: Jane Wells
A company called YouMail lets you create specific voicemail messages for specific incoming callers, like a professional message when your boss calls, or a warm and fuzzy voicemail message when mom calls. Now it’s put a wicked twist on the idea, called Ditchmail. Originally intended to block telemarketers, Gen X,Y,Z-ers (is there a Z yet?) are using the service to dump bad dates. »Read more
  Wednesday, 16 May 2007 | 11:06 AM ET

Breaking Up Is Not So Hard To Do

Posted By: Jane Wells
A company called YouMail lets you create specific voicemail messages for specific incoming callers, like a professional message when your boss calls, or a warm and fuzzy voicemail message when mom calls. Now it’s put a wicked twist on the idea, called Ditchmail. Originally intended to block telemarketers, Gen X,Y,Z-ers (is there a Z yet?) are using the service to dump bad dates. »Read more
  Tuesday, 15 May 2007 | 9:35 AM ET

Outsourcing The News On A "New" Level

Posted By: Jane Wells
Update on what may be the dumbest outsourcing idea yet that I actually love. Last week the Associated Press reported that a daily news website in Pasadena, California, has hired two reporters based in India to cover LOCAL NEWS. The reason: since things like city council meetings are streamed online, who really needs to be there? »Read more
  Monday, 14 May 2007 | 9:09 AM ET

Japanese Wigs, Best of the Fast, Travel "Dealing," & YouTubeMercials

Posted By: Jane Wells
The world's largest wigmaker, Aderans, is in Japan. But now the rug is being pulled out from under the domestic toupee market, as more Japanese men reportedly "bare all" up top. Aderans is so afraid of a hostile takeover it's seeking a sort of "poison pill" defense, an effort being fought by its largest shareholder, American investment fund Steel Partners. Steel Partners says the plan isn't good for growth, and a hairy shareholder vote is looming. »Read more

About Funny Business with Jane Wells

  • If it was up to Jane Wells, she’d spend her entire day combing Mother Earth for stories and observations just for this blog. She has more fun writing Funny Business than anything else she does... professionally, that is. Funny business is whatever Jane considers hilarious, strange, fishy, or ridiculous, which pretty much covers everything on Wall Street. It is her hope this blog makes you smile, even when the news is grim. After all, it's only money.

 

  • Based in Los Angeles, Jane Wells is a CNBC business news reporter and also writes the Funny Business blog for CNBC.com.

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