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Funny Business with Jane Wells

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  Thursday, 12 Apr 2007 | 9:43 AM ET

A Manly "Funny Business" Report

Posted By: Jane Wells
The International Bottled Water Association brags that Americans last year drank nearly 28 gallons of bottled water each on average. Meantime, the Beer Institute's latest figures show we each drank 30 gallons of beer. Somehow, I don't think the same Americans chugging 30 gallons of Bud are also drinking 28 gallons of Evian. By the way, Nevada drinks the most beer at 43.2 gallons per gambler, er, person. Guess which state comes in second? »Read more
  Wednesday, 11 Apr 2007 | 2:19 PM ET

How to Survive Working for a Jerk

Posted By: Jane Wells
As I always say, I love this job because I learn something wild every day. My latest education involves jerks. I thought I was an expert on the subject. Au contraire! For example, there's a difference between the occasional jerk, which we all are, and a "certified" jerk. You're certifiable if you consistently make people feel bad, usually subordinates. And there are two kinds! The "clueless" jerk--think Steve Carell's character on "The Office"--and the "strategic" jerk--Meryl Streep in "The Devil Wears Prada." »Read more
  Tuesday, 10 Apr 2007 | 9:30 AM ET

Profit from "American Idol" without Paying FOX a Dime

Posted By: Jane Wells
This may be my favorite ingeniously cheap PR ploy of the year so far: KFC is STILL trying to convince "Idol" contestant Sanjaya Malakar to sport a "bowl cut," to promote the chain's Famous Bowls. Malakar is the young kid who hulas but doesn't sing very well, yet he continues to advance on "Idol" partly because of a subversive campaign by Howard Stern. »Read more
  Monday, 9 Apr 2007 | 9:19 AM ET

J-Lo on "Idol," Mother's Day Pitches And More

Posted By: Jane Wells
J-Lo Down Low. Jennifer Lopez will be on "American Idol" this week, and, frankly, I can't wait to see her and Sanjaya have a "session." But the question is, who needs whom more at the moment? Idol's ratings are down 10% according to Nielsen. But Lopez's new album, her first Spanish-language endeavor, sold only 48,000 copies its first week. That's fantastic for.... »Read more
  Thursday, 5 Apr 2007 | 8:01 AM ET

The NOT "Million Dollar Challenge" Contest Winner!"

Posted By: Jane Wells
It's been very exciting holding the first Funny Business contest. Sure, we're not "The Million Dollar Portfolio Challenge," but at least we're... well, not. My contest asked readers to explain this incomprehensible press release.. »Read more
  Wednesday, 4 Apr 2007 | 9:07 AM ET

We Love Our Pets, Blame it on the Weather, & More

Posted By: Jane Wells

WE LOVE OUR PETS MORE THAN OUR CHILDREN

»Read more
  Tuesday, 3 Apr 2007 | 8:16 AM ET

Speaking of April Furhst, The Loneliest Job, and The Contest!

Posted By: Jane Wells
He’s the result of ingenious marketing: The Maytag repairman. Alone. Unneeded. Lonely. Lonelier still, the actor who plays him, Hardy Rawls. He’s being let go. Instead, Maytag’s new owner, Whirlpool, has held a national audition for the “new face” of the repairman. The winner is Clay Jackson of Richmond, Virginia, a former realtor who entered the contest “on a whim.” Man, if I were a realtor in this housing market, I’d also be looking for a more stable career, like acting. »Read more
  Monday, 2 Apr 2007 | 10:29 AM ET

The Prom Business Has Legs (And The Contest Continues)

Posted By: Jane Wells
As the mother of a couple of high school students (gag me), the prom has turned into a major annual expenditure. By some estimates, Americans spend about $4 billion a year on the event—dresses, tux rentals, flowers, limos, tickets. All for something we all desperately want to attend, believing it will be the highlight of our youth, though it usually turns out to be … just OK. »Read more
  Monday, 2 Apr 2007 | 6:26 PM ET

Wires Crossed, Girls Gone Legitimate ... and a Contest!

Posted By: Jane Wells
Filthy rich (in every way) Joe Francis, co-founder of Girls Gone Wild, has to show up in a Florida court today to explain why he had a tantrum during mediation to settle a federal lawsuit. Francis is being sued by some teenage girls and their parents for being victimized while “flashing in public.” Maybe you shouldn’t flash in public? Just a thought. »Read more
  Thursday, 29 Mar 2007 | 8:45 AM ET

You Think You Have Problems, Prts. 1, 2, 3...

Posted By: Jane Wells
According to Schering-Plough, 65 MILLION Americans suffer from constipation. That's nearly one in five of us. Really? Are 65 million Americans, like, constipated all the time? Once a month? Bummer. The company is touting the over-the-counter availability of its prescription strength laxative, MiraLAX. The announcement contained this little factoid which caught my eye... »Read more

About Funny Business with Jane Wells

  • If it was up to Jane Wells, she’d spend her entire day combing Mother Earth for stories and observations just for this blog. She has more fun writing Funny Business than anything else she does... professionally, that is. Funny business is whatever Jane considers hilarious, strange, fishy, or ridiculous, which pretty much covers everything on Wall Street. It is her hope this blog makes you smile, even when the news is grim. After all, it's only money.

 

  • Based in Los Angeles, Jane Wells is a CNBC business news reporter and also writes the Funny Business blog for CNBC.com.

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