Milk does a body good. But Americans aren't buying it ... literally. We've "got" less "milk" according to the U.S. Department of Agriculture.
Does milk need a super hero? Enter Dwayne Johnson, aka "The Rock," America's new milkman.
Funny Business with Jane Wells
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Maybe Kmart's new ad, "Big Gas Savings," suggests the retailer is really selling attitude, and that's not a bad thing.
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'The Rock,' America's New Milkman
Posted By: Jane Wells
Peter Berg on What It's Like to Direct a Super Bowl Ad
Posted By: Jane Wells
Peter Berg may be best known for bringing to life "Friday Night Lights." He first directed the story of a small town high school football team as a film, then he turned it into a hit television show.
Now Berg is playing in a much bigger football game — the Super Bowl.
San Francisco's Puppy Problem
Posted By: Jane Wells
M. Lorenz Photography | Flickr | Getty Images
Subscribing to newspapers digitally saves trees, cuts down on inky fingers, and is generally kinder to Mother Earth. No city in America is more concerned with going green than San Francisco.
Unfortunately, Animal Control officials say that's a bunch of dog...poo.
Sex or Sleep? You Gotta Ask the Question
Posted By: Jane Wells
B2M Productions | Photographer's Choice | Getty Images
After a day at the office, what are you most looking forward to? A hard day's night, or a good night's sleep?
Americans work hard, but maybe we don't have the energy left to play hard. (C'mon we're all adults here.)
Earlier this month Furniture Today pointed out a survey by the Sleep Council which said people prefer sleep over sex by a 3-2 margin (61 percent versus 39 percent). "It has been said that sleep is the new sex," claims the trade publication. "Sleep is such a precious commodity that it's even more highly valued than sex."
Think pillow talk without much talk.
Women prefer sleep to sex more than men--79 percent of women versus 42 percent of men (wait, that means only 58 percent of men prefer sex to sleep?).
The proof may be in the bottom line. Temper-pedic reported better than expected earnings this week, sending shares higher, while Select Comfort disappointed. An article last year inBarron's suggested that Temper-pedic beds, which mold themselves to the body, are not very conducive to anything other than, you know, sleeping.
(Read More: Herb's Take on Both Sides of the Bed)
Furniture Today suggests retailers keep that in mind. "Some bedding veterans don't believe that sex should be discussed on the sales floor...sales associates should talk about how a new mattress delivers a better night of sleep. That's what most consumers want."
Ackman Icahn Showdown: Twitter Reaction
Posted By: Jane Wells
In what may have been the most epic smackdown of rich guys to ever play out in public, Bill Ackman and Carl Icahn confronted each other on CNBC's "Fast Money Halftime Report" over dealings going back to 2003. (Read More: Ackman, Icahn Hurl Accusations, Insults.)
Schmuck Insurance—So Easy Two Billionaires Can Do It
Posted By: Jane Wells
Getty Images
Bill Ackman and Carl Icahn
One of the most amusing comments to come out of the entire Bill Ackman-Carl Icahn spat was the revelation that the two agreed to "schmuck insurance."
(Read More: Icahn, Ackman in Epic Showdown of Billionaires.)
Ackman wrote in a press release:
"On March 1, 2003, on behalf of my former fund, Gotham Partners, I entered into a contract with Carl Icahn, signed by him, to sell him a 15% stake in Hallwood Realty Partners. He paid my investors $80 per share and agreed to what he called 'schmuck insurance.' The agreement provided that he would pay my investors an earnout equal to 50% of his profit on Hallwood after he received a 10% annual return if he 'sold or otherwise transferred' his shares for value within three years."
Delete This: The Never-Ending Fight for an Uncluttered Inbox
Posted By: Jane Wells
Source: mailboxapp.com
Apple's Mailbox
Welcome to my world:
"2013 Gastrointestinal Cancers Symposium Reveals New Advances for GI Cancers"
"Funding Inspires Florida Teens to Pursue STEM Manufacturing Education"
"South Africa: MPC keeps interest rate on hold in midst of higher inflation and lower growth"
Those are the subject lines from three of the 50 billion emails I get every day. This is what happens when postage is free. Mail floods in.
Women, Wine, and the NRA
Posted By: Jane Wells
Source: nrawineclub.com/
The NRA Wine Club.
Praise the Merlot and pass the ammunition.
The NRA has a wine club. No, really.
"Now you can support the 2nd Amendment with every wine you buy," said the club's webpage.
Selections cover a variety of varietals and price points, with everything from the 2010 Purple Cowboy Night Rider Merlot from Paso Robles for $12.99 to a 2003 Moet et Chandon Dom Perignon French Champagne for $139.99. Sound weird? Well, if you're going to go hunt for dinner, maybe you want it paired with the right wine.
Do Nothing! Yes, There's a Holiday for That
Posted By: Jane Wells
Wednesday is National Do Nothing Day.
……
Uh …
…………….
Ok, that's about as much "nothing" as I can stand, which may be reason enough to have a day dedicated to it.
About Funny Business
If it was up to Jane Wells, she’d spend her entire day combing Mother Earth for stories and observations just for this blog. She has more fun writing Funny Business than anything else she does... professionally, that is. Funny business is whatever Jane considers hilarious, strange, fishy, or ridiculous, which pretty much covers everything on Wall Street. It is her hope this blog makes you smile, even when the news is grim. After all, it's only money.
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Based in Los Angeles, Wells is currently a CNBC business news reporter and also writes CNBC.com's “Funny Business.”
Humor
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Sometimes when you do things in the comfort of your own home, everyone gets a little too comfortable.
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Chief funster? Yep, that's a job. It's one of six dream jobs Australia is hiring for. How do you qualify? Read on.
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The magic of hot sauce -- and beer shakes, which are being sold by the Charleston River Dogs baseball team.