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Booze Biz, a "Hit" Soda, Flammable Toilets & French Cuisine

The Booze Biz

Tequila Shot
AP
Tequila Shot

Turns out tequila is giving beer a real headache. And friends, there's nothing quite like a tequila headache. But here's the twist. A new survey says more of us celebrate Cinco de Mayo than St. Patrick's Day, in the sense that two out of three Americans are more likely to have a margarita on May 5 than a beer on March 17. Who sponsored the survey? The Distilled-Spirits Council? Bud? Baileys? No. The survey was sponsored by Tequila Don Julio. Oh. Hmmm.

Well, I believe that two out of three Californians would celebrate May 5 over March 17 (actually, I can see three out of three Californians doing that), but what about Boston? Peoria? Hartford? Do they even make margaritas in Hartford? Of course, with one in eight Americans living in California, it does kind of skew things. I mean, that's one reason salsa now outsells ketchup, and guacamole is the party dip of choice. Man, a bowl of guac and chips, a little salsa and a margarita. That's a party on a platter, people.

Tony's In the Can

The Booze Biz

Sopranos Old Fashioned Italian Sodas, Amaretto
source:bevnet.com
Sopranos Old Fashioned Italian Sodas, Amaretto



Beverage maker Imbibe is launching a line of sodas based on The Sopranos. The new "Sopranos Old Fashioned Italian Sodas" will come in three flavors: Limoncello, Amaretto and Chianti. The headline on the press release is the best one I've gotten this month: "The Sopranos Old Fashioned Sodas Are Sure To Be A 'Hit.'"

We're Not in Kansas Anymore

Toto Toilets, the high-end hot-selling toilets from Japan, have a problem. The company is offering free repairs to 180,000 bidet toilets after some caught fire due to bad wiring. The affected toilets have a pulsating pressurized water sprayer and dryer to clean you "on the go" so to speak.

None of the recalled toilets was sold overseas. Good thing. While no one was actually sitting on one when a fire broke out, the company spokeswoman gave me a visual I won't soon forget: "The fire would have been just under your buttocks."

That's Why They Call Them French Fries

From my friend, Mr. Off-the-Wall Street, who has discovered in the McDonald's proxy statement that the chain's largest shareholder is AXA , the French insurance giant: "Proof that Chicken McNuggets are French cuisine!"

Comments? Funny Stories? Email funnybusiness@cnbc.com

  • Based in Los Angeles, Jane Wells is a CNBC business news reporter and also writes the Funny Business blog for CNBC.com.

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