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Green Life and My Life

My Green Lifestyle Can Kick Your Grass

Everyone is green with envy over how much greener everyone else is. Wal-Mart is in the process of trying to make itself so green that, in comparison, Whole Foods will look like... Wal-Mart. The retail giant has now done a survey on consumer attitudes about the environment. The survey shows that 57% of Americans are "extremely concerned about the environment," and 43% "think they will adopt an extremely green lifestyle in the next five years."

REALLY? Three out of five of us are extremely concerned? Two out of five plan to change our lifestyles "extremely" by 2012? What is "extreme?" Hybrid cars? Bamboo clothing? Solar panels? Putting a bucket in the shower to collect water that you pour into the toilet tank (I knew someone who did that. That's extreme.)? 43% of us are 129 million people. Anyone want to bet that by 2012, 129 million Americans will be composting? Anyone? Bueller?

My Life I get lots of emails pitching coverage of stories. Lots. Like:

-- An invitation to The Mail Center Management Conference at the Holiday Inn in Arlington, VA. This year's slogan: "Technology upgrades, Modernization, Security." I'd better book my flight now while seats are still available...

-- My weekly email from IDG Connect which always promises "a short list of the hottest whitepapers, Webcasts and research available." WOW! The hot stuff in the most recent release includes reports on "Novell: The Comprehensive Access Manager Solution for Your Enterprise." Zzzzzzz. But wait! What's this? "Medieval Help Desk--Monk IT See, Monk IT Do?" Ok, I actually clicked on that one. DING DING DING! A WINNER. It led to this following hilarious YouTube video.

Comments? Funny Stories? Email funnybusiness@cnbc.com

  • Based in Los Angeles, Jane Wells is a CNBC business news reporter and also writes the Funny Business blog for CNBC.com.

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