A Royal Pain in the Office

AP

A San Francisco-based author/career counselor is using the fairytale princesses in "Shrek the Third" to hawk a book called "Make the Right Career Move." Okay, it's a stretch, but the nuggets in the release are fun. Using the princess theme, author Rachelle Canter commissioned a survey of office workers on how many people work with "princesses."

Characteristics of a "Workplace Princess":

• Do most of your sentences begin with "I want" or "I need"? (Um, yes.)
• Do you know the career goals of your friends and co-workers or only your own? (Hmmm, give me a minute.)
• When was the last time you listened for 30 minutes to a good friend of colleague with a serious problem? (Honey, I don't have 30 minutes to listen to my kids.)
• When was the last time you called or visited a colleague just to see how they are doing? (Yes! Once, about a year ago.)
• In job interviews do you focus on what you want--a great opportunity, room for advancement, lucrative compensation, a mentor--rather than on what you can contribute or offer an employer? (Guess.)
• When things go wrong, do you blame the situation on other people? (Ok, now you're starting to annoy me.)
• Do you worry about other people or only yourself? (Sure, I worry about other people. I worry they might get in my way.)

Survey results:

• 48% of American workers say there is a "Workplace Princess" on site.
• 48% of Workplace Princesses expect special favors from employers.
• 47% of Workplace Princesses believe they are being treated unfairly.
• 35% of Workplace Princesses make other people do work for them.

And my favorite...

• 16% of Workplace Princesses are men.

Not Everything Sells On eBay

Still no bidders for the "Most Important Coalition Domain Names in History!" GlobalWarmingCoalition.org and .com are only available for a few more hours. Minimum bid is $7,000. Zero bids last time I checked.

BUT! For a mere $1, you can also bid on the set from the old TV show "Family Feud." However, shipping costs are $5,000, and you need to have a spare 2,500 square feet to store the set. The winning bidder will be featured on Break.com, "the #2 viral video site on the internet."

So far, like global warming, there's not a lot of heat being generated for this item.

And You Thought I'd Forgotten About The Fruit Fly Contest

Earlier this month, I launched a Funny Business contest urging readers to explain the value of research seeking to prove that fruit flies have free will. We got some great suggestions from you on how this benefits humanity. We even heard from the study's lead author. But the winning explanation comes from William Oakley, Sr.:

"It keeps the researchers employed. Their salaries buy things and keep the economy going by employing others. It also keeps them from doing research on something truly harmful like weapons of mass destruction."

Now, that is good for humanity. William, a spiffy CNBC Hollywood cap will soon wing its way to you. Thanks for playing along!

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