My nipples are erect right now. They are like this because I'm in the midst of an experiment which I'm calling "Operation Red Sunday."
A couple weeks back, just a few days after I saw Tiger Woodsin his tight-as-can-be Sunday magenta shirt at the U.S. Open, I called Nike Golf and asked them to send me what Tiger was planning to wear for the British OpenonSunday.
Sure enough, about a week later, the Dri-Fit Seamless Herringbone Mock in red showed up. The idea behind "Operation Sunday Red"? To put this shirt on and evaluate whether putting Tiger in tight shirts is good or bad for business. My answer? It's bad. Let's take a look at how I look in it:
Not too good, I'd say. And I'm a five-foot-10, 178-pound guy who works out pretty regularly and just lifted weights for an hour and a half just to get ready for this photo. I proudly don't fall into the 66 percent of Americans who are overweight, which is the same percentage, by the way, of American golfers who are overweight, according to a survey taken last year by The Wall Street Journal and Golf Digest.
How do I feel in it? Not good, either. So I'm betting that the majority of the population won't really be sold on this thing. The best thing to compare to is the "catsuit" that Serena Williamswore during her run to the U.S. Open title in 2002. (For Serena in catsuit action, click here).
It got a whole lot of attention, but didn't do anything to Puma's business. I heard they sold 50 of them. That's right, 50. Not exactly the flattering outfit you'd bring home for your girlfriend.
So while I think it might be good for Nike for people to say, "Check how ripped Tiger is," I don't think it's good for Nike that the majority of their customers would prefer to wear the same old lose polos that give their chest and stomach some breathing room.
Now to the really interesting stuff. Apparently the folks at Nike didn’t account for their to be blustery cold weather at Carnoustie. So they’re saying that his outfits will all be Dri-Fit short sleeves. Not surprisingly, Tiger wore a windbreaker for the first half of his round today and then a long sleeve and a sweater for the second half. None of these outfits I could find online.
With afternoon weather on Sunday that is expected to be the mid 50's and maybe a little sprinkle of rain, I hope Tiger will show us the man he is and will be wearing only the red Dri-Fit Seamless Herringbone Mock. Uh, maybe I better rethink that one.
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