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Lindsay Lohan: The "Real" Business Angle For CNBC

Lindsay Lohan
Lindsay Lohan

Note to PR people: please actually WATCH our network and understand what CNBC does before sending pitches. Here's a shortened list of press releases sent my way in the last 24 hours:

"Draumr Publishing, an independent U.S. press, has finally released 'Moon Child,' the tantalizing new novel by first time Canadian author Simone Maroney, to the North American public. The book is a rollicking good ride, complete with adventure, betrayal and harrowing escapes from dire circumstances."

"NeoMed Software Introduces "EpiTrax Live"--New online demonstrations allow physicians and prospective users of EpiTrax to learn more about electronic seizure tracking"

"Jewish Federation observes first anniversary of Seattle shooting"

Yes, let's find stock angles on tragedy, seizure tracking, and a book that's a "rollicking good ride." And then there's Lindsay Lohan.

We received this offer to comment on the poor girl.

"In light of the latest troubling episode in Lindsay Lohan's life, please remember Dr. Susan Bartell as an expert who can comment. Dr. Bartell is a psychologist noted for her work with troubled young people. Bartell has media experience and lives in the NYC area. She will be in the city this afternoon if CNBC Cable Network needs her for commentary."

WHY ON EARTH would I want to interview a psychologist about Lindsay Lohan? WE COVER BUSINESS NEWS. But, just as I was harrumphing about this, I noticed--on our air--we were covering, you guessed it, Lindsay Lohan (see video below). Of course, our story was whether anyone would insure her anymore on a Hollywood production, so we could console ourselves that there was actually a financial angle! Where did I put that psychologist's number!!

THOSE CRAZY BRITS
They may be all stiff upper lips across the pond, but behind closed doors, wow! Turns out that the business of orgies is pretty good for a woman who's now on the rowing team of Prince William's girlfriend (Kate Middleton). The orgy organizer, Emma Sayle, runs "Killing Kittens," which, well, I'm not even going to explain where the name of the company comes from. That you'll have to research yourself. But I guess business has been booming.

"Dubbed 'the underground orgy' and praised by critics, this raunchy company specialises in holding sex parties for the beautiful, rich and even famous." Time Out Magazine August 2006.

I even discovered the Sayle has a profile on LinkedIn! So she can build up her network of business contacts. Quite the entrepreneur! Here's a link to the story about the rowing team.

HEEEEEEEERE'S MONEY!
Ed McMahonhas reportedly reached a tentative settlement with a man who lent him $100,000 and claimed McMahon wouldn't pay him back. McMahon's people claim the guy was charging 60% interest. According to the City News Service in Los Angeles, the suit alleges that when McMahon did not pay the loan on time, he verbally agreed to pay $135,000 (the original amount plus interest). "But when McMahon sent a check for $135,000 in November 2005, it bounced because the account only had a balance of $730."

JANE V. BECKY!
Dealbreaker.com went to town with my blog Monday quoting a reader who jokingly suggested Becky Quick married Boone Pickens while in China, and changed her name to Becky Quick-Pickens. HA! But then the fashionistas at Dealbreaker decided to read between the lines.

Comments? Funny Stories? Email funnybusiness@cnbc.com
  • Based in Los Angeles, Jane Wells is a CNBC business news reporter and also writes the Funny Business blog for CNBC.com.

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