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Mortgage Crunch Blues: More Song Parodies To Sing By

Here are more song parodies (see my previous post) to try to bring a smile to those of you upside down in your mortgage (or upside down in your Capital One and Countrywide stock):

From a Colorado mortgage company grunt, the appropriately named Rocky M (talk about smiling through the pain), called "Green Tree Beret' and sung to the "Green Beret" theme:

Drunken AEs from the bars
With resumes, they drive their cars
Men who mean, not what they say
They were employed, just yesterday
Their notepads with the lenders crest
They all say, they were the best
Please give us jobs, we'll start today
Don't wanna give our beemers away

Trained to live, in Brokers land
Trained in packaging, hand to hand
AEs who faxed by night and day
They were trained, Green Point Beret.
Silver Pens, upon their chest
Sadly these, were America's best.

Head hunters see, 1000 today
But only two, they'll ask to stay
Back at home, a young wife waits
Her AE husband, met his fate
OD'd on rum, he was depressed
Leaving her this last request
If our son should, become a rep
Make him learn well, don't skip a step
If hes too weak, to take the pace
Don't let him go, to a sub prime place.

Here's one from financial analyst Ken M., sung to the melody of "Prime Time" by The Alan Parsons Project:

All of my Alt-A loans can't last forever
All the loans that I made, were turning out right
Package up all these loans, let's get them levered
Something in the air
Maybe for the only time in my life
Something in the air
Guiding me 'round and causing me fright
And it's the Sub-Prime
Maybe the stars were right
I got my deposition
Gonna be my time tonight.

Even the strongest loans, well, "never say never"
All of my banking friends are turning to flight
Hedge fund dudes at Bear all looked so clever
Something in the air
Maybe for the only time in my life
Something in the air
American Home Mortgage screaming "good night"
And it's the Sub-Prime
Maybe the stars were right
I got a premonition
Gonna lose my dime tonight….gonna lose my dime tonight.

Fake Jane
CNBC.com photo composite
Fake Jane

FAKE JANE IS ONE-UPPED BY FAKE LEONA
PR exec Nick R. has used Fake Jane as his inspiration to write this for Fake Leona Helmsley:

"So this is what hell is like ... I thought it would be hotter ... I have to pay retail? That's insane ... is that Milton Berle over there -- geez wonder what he did ..."

Comments? Funny Stories? Email funnybusiness@cnbc.com
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  • Based in Los Angeles, Jane Wells is a CNBC business news reporter and also writes the Funny Business blog for CNBC.com.

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