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Mortgage Song Parodies: The Day The Loan Died

Tuesday, 28 Aug 2007 | 8:13 AM ET

People, you need to start recording these on video and sending them to me...forget YouTube.

"American Pie" - Don McLean
"American Pie" - Don McLean

Mortgage advisor Andrea S. says this song parody of Don McLean's "American Pie" came from a branch manager at a very, very big mortgage lender you may have heard of which is having trouble lately:

Long, long time ago... I can still remember
How that yield spread made me smile.
And I knew if I had my chance
Those mofos I could finance
And I could pay my bills for a while.
But February made me shiver
With every good faith I'd deliver.
Bad news on my e-mail;
I just lost one more deal.
I can't remember if I cried
When I saw the Fremont slide
But something touched me deep inside
The day the Subprime died.

So bye-bye, BC money supply.
Sent my package to four lenders
But they all asked me why.
And good old boys were on a crack induced high Singin', "This'll be the
day the loans die, This'll be the day the loans die."

And from mortgage banker Rick M., a tribute to the Rolling Stones' "Satisfaction":

I can't get no loans to close,
I can't get no loans approved.
Though I rant and I rave and I cry and I pray.
I can't get no, I can't get no.

When I'm sittin' at my desk
And a rep comes in to give a show
and he's tellin' me more and more
about some useless information
supposed to fire my imagination.
I can't get no, oh no no no.
Hey hey hey, that's what I say.

I can't get no loans to close
I can't get no loans approved
Though I rant and I rave and I cry and I pray.
I can't get no, I can't get no.
When I'm wastin' away my day
and rep comes in to say
how great his pricing's today
Well he can't be the man 'cause he doesn't pay
the full yield spread I need.
I can't get no, oh no no no.
Hey hey hey, that's what I say.

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  • Based in Los Angeles, Jane Wells is a CNBC business news reporter and also writes the Funny Business blog for CNBC.com.

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