Funny Business

AP

Wanna lose weight? Buy a bigger house. Researchers at the University of Washington found that for every $100,000 more a house is worth, the homeowners are 2% less likely to be obese. So wealth=trim, poor=fat. Wealth=ability to afford the gym and time to care about looking good; poor=just trying to get through the day and eating lots of prepackaged mac n' cheese. This is news?

The Huskies researched weight levels by Zip Code in Seattle's King County, finding a 30% obesity rate in the poorest neighborhoods, while the rate was only 5% in the richest parts of town. The study claims that obesity is all about location, location, location!

In "Social Science and Medicine," Dr. Adam Drewnowski from the school's Center for Obesity Research says, "Our research shows that geography, social class and economic standing all play huge roles in the obesity problem."

Ok, I get the social class and economic standing part... but geography? Aren't you in a certain zip code BECAUSE of your social class and economic standing? Dr. Drewnowski says it's imperative to discover the fattest zip codes and identify the "most vulnerable neighborhoods." And do what? Ban McDonald's there?

Hey, maybe the rich people are "vulnerable" for the opposite reason! Maybe they don't eat as much because they're too stressed out that their jumbo ARMs are about to reset and they will no longer be able to afford to eat anything at all.

LETTERS FROM READERS:
First, Kevin Cheek of National Wholesale Funding insists that he is the author of the Don McLean "American Pie" mortgage credit meltdown song parody I published yesterday. Apparently everyone's stealing credit for it... credit, heh, heh, get it?

And from Gene B. of New Jersey, responding to my blog posting on why girls like pink and boys don't. A neuroscientist speculates that it's because for "millions of years" women have picked red fruit against a green backdrop (which makes even less sense than Zip Codes causing obesity):

"I was always taught that if I was looking for food in the wild to avoid anything red. It was explained that if you observe wildlife they will never eat red fruit."

Again. Two words. Eve. Apple. Women and red fruit, not a good mix.

CNBC.com photo composite

FAKE JANE RESPONDS
Pink rocks. As in, I'd like a pink rock. On my left hand. Emerald cut. Four carats at least.

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