Countrywide

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[CFC  Loading...      ()   ] will be swallowed up by Bank of America

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[BAC  Loading...      ()   ] sometime this summer, barring any last minute surprises. How will BofA celebrate? If this YouTube video is any indication, it will involve twisting a U2 hit into something Michael Scott would sing to motivate his staff on "The Office." The video was taped a couple years back after Bank of America bought MBNA.

In it, two employees transform the hit "One" into a song about...credit cards. With feeling. Lyrics like, "Did I ask too much? More than a lot. You gave me nothing, now it's all I got," were changed to, "And we've got Bank One on the run, 'What's in your wallet,?' It's not Capital One."

So what U2 hit will be taken and tweaked to celebrate the Countrywide deal? "Where The Loans Have No Name," or maybe, "I Still Haven't Earned What I've Been Paying For."

ENRON BEATS ESTIMATES!
Enron has returned more than $20 billion to creditors since 2004. That's nearly 300 percent better than analysts expected!

GREENHOUSE GASES EMPHASIZE THE...GAS
A group called Grass Fire thinks Al Gore's predictions about global warming are a lot of hot air. As Congress debates a massive carbon tax plan, the folks at Grass Fire are asking fellow travelers to do their part to make the Earth even hotter on June 12th, which they've named "Carbon Belch Day." Here, you can calculate you belching footprint. People are asked to do various activities, including:

1. Turn the A/C down an extra five degrees

2. Don't recycle for one day

3. Eat meat with at least two meals (bonus points if you eat steak)

4. Leave two light bulbs on for the entire day

5. Do a partial load of laundry

6. Smoke four cigars

To further mock the idea of cap-and-trade on emissions, Grass Fire is issuing Carbon Belch Debits, "a meaningless term that will have just as much impact on Al Gore's 'planetary emergency' as the carbon credits." Except the website will take your real money for the fake debits.

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