- Revenge of the Gangsta Nerds
- It's Beginning To Look A Lot More Riskless
- Topless Business Is Taking Off
- Gambling Drunk, Texting to Live And America's On Sale - Your Emails
- The Lloyd's Prayer, Leggo My Eggo, Plate Hate & Your Emails
- Help Wanted—Please Run $4 Billion University
- Madoff—The Holiday Drink
- Drugs, Booze and Vegas
- Happy World Toilet Day
- Coffee, Tea or My Ad?
- Portfolio Prep for Next Week: 'Don't Get Crazy'
- U.S. Stocks Fall on Dubai Worries
- Black Friday at Best Buy
- Strategists on Dubai: Avoid 'Rash Moves' Now
- Longer Lines, Fuller Carts This Black Friday
- Dubai Stock Market Fear Has 'Legs': Dennis Gartman
- Obama's Emission Reduction Pledge Paints Future for Autos
- Is Super Bowl Halftime Act Too Old?
- Surprising Options Trades in TiVo Shares
- US Shoppers Spent Less Over Black Friday: NRF
- UAE Central Bank Stands by Banks Amid Dubai Crisis
- UAE Markets Seen Limit Down on Monday Open
- Banks With The Biggest Exposure to The UAE
- Dubai's Debt Woes Signal New Era for Creditors
- A Weak IPO Debut for Las Vegas Sands' Macau Unit
- US Treasury Wants Banks to Do More to Ease Mortgages
- Tiger Woods Accepts Full Blame for Car Crash
- Next Week: Cash In Now Or Wait For A Santa Rally?
RSS FEED
Funny Business
![]() |
Self-checkout lane |
The study, done by IHL Consulting, says one reason self check-out is great is because the average woman could lose 4.1 pounds a year scanning and bagging her own! Not because of the extra calories that would burn, but because there are fewer "impulse items" available for sale at self-checkout aisles. They're not as "merchandised."
While going through the regular, staffed check-out lines, "The average woman in the study claimed to purchase and consume over 14,300 calories" in a year from candy bars or whatever. Well, duh. You end up standing there waiting as the customer in front of you gets out her checkbook (who's still writing checks?!) only after the last item is scanned. She can't find a pen. She questions the total. It takes her a half-friggin-hour to write the check. What are you supposed to do after reading all the tabloid headlines posted in front of you? You buy and eat a candy bar! The candy bar people put customers like her in line on purpose! I'm convinced of it.
Perhaps the fat police can sue grocery stores for this. Meantime, if the candy bar industry feels threatened by lost sales at the self check-out line...one natural solution is to start "merchandising" that aisle, too. Believe me, I need a treat after trying to price that zucchini.
SPEAKING OF ZUCCHINIS...sort of
The owner of an Oakland, CA, construction company is breathing easier after he was acquitted of charges of indecent exposure. The guy likes to build things nude.
Percy Honniball (ok, charges should be brought up on the last name) was acquitted after convincing the judge he didn't intend to be lewd. He just likes to build cabinets and tables and bookcases...without wearing clothes...while inside peoples' houses. He didn't know people were looking at him. Honniball was apparently charged three times before in nearby Berkeley for the same thing. And if they're upset about nudity IN BERKELEY, well, it must've been flagrant.
Honniball's attorney tells the Bay City News Service that his client "has decided that although what he did was not illegal, it's probably prudent to wear clothes while he works so he doesn't face legal hassles again." Does his bond cover that?
Comments? Funny Stories? Email








