GO
Loading...

K-Fed Rate Cut

Wednesday, 19 Sep 2007 | 3:09 PM ET
CNBC.com photo composite
CNBC.com photo composite

What more can be said about the Fed's rate cut? Did Greenspan get us into this mess? Is Bernanke caving in getting us out? Are both trying to be popular? Here's my question: is Greenspan suddenly like Britney (we thought he was so hot but now...), while Bernanke is K-Fed (a strange background ornament who suddenly looks responsible)?

Big Blue's New Ceo: Fake Jane?


Speaking of outrageous ideas...

IBM is touting on the front page of its sitea study showing that people who create virtual characters in online games could become good corporate leaders. You read that right. People who create avatars inside games like "World of Warcraft" may end up in the corner office, while you, you loser, who actually WORKS at work, will stay in that cubicle forever.

By the way, for those of you over the age of 120, an avatar is an online character one creates to represent oneself, kinda like Fake Jane, but better looking.

IBM believes that in today's increasingly global workplace, people who already know how to collaborate and communicate through online virtual worlds may be honing necessary skills. These people make "rapid-fire decisions based on multiple and constantly shifting situations" and leaders emerge. See more here.

I'll tell you one thing: I'm hoping these new leaders can cut down on the level of corporate-speak. The IBM report asks, "What types of training and tools can forward-thinking companies use to enable a new breed of leader that thrives in these uncertain environments?"

(Note to IBM: it's "who thrives" not "that thrives." But I digress.)

Who talks like that? Thinks like that? An avatar wouldn't talk that way. An avatar would say, "Follow me and we will both become rich," or "Do you think I'm sexy?"

Speaking of Incomprehensible

No one loves to use acronyms more than the military. NOLTUAMTTM would summarize the last sentence, and the Pengaton would say it with a straight face. So I took special delight in one of the latest press releases I received from Northrop Grumman, which says, in part:

Northrop Grumman Corporation successfully demonstrated an advanced targeting data link using the Defense Advanced Research Project Agency's (DARPA) Quint Network Technology (QNT). This achievement was accomplished as part of a cooperative effort between the U.S. Air Force's (USAF) Electronics System Center (ESC), DARPA, Northrop Grumman and Rockwell Collins . DARPA's QNT program is jointly funded with the USAF's Global Cyberspace Integration Center (GCIC), ESC, Air Force Research Laboratory (AFRL) and the U.S. Navy.

QNT? Is that a bomb or a stock? ESC actually is -- Emeritus, which helps in assisted living for people with Alzheimer's and dementia. I don't think that's what the Air Force (USAF) means. Or, IDTTWTUSAFM.

Comments? Funny Stories? Email funnybusiness@cnbc.com

  Price   Change %Change
COL
---
ESC
---
IBM
---
NOC
---

Featured

  • Based in Los Angeles, Jane Wells is a CNBC business news reporter and also writes the Funny Business blog for CNBC.com.

Humor