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You Are Funnier Than I Am! (At Least Your Email Is)

Friday, 12 Oct 2007 | 12:14 PM ET

From the Funny Business email bag, a treasure trove of frivolity!

Countrywide wristband
Source: ebay.com
Countrywide wristband

COUNTRYWIDE WRISTBAND FOR AUCTION ON EBAY. LETTER OF COMMITMENT TO COMPANY COULD BE THROWN IN FOR FREE!
Reader Ed L. directed me to this listing: The person auctioning off the "Protect Our House" wristband claims to be a Countrywide employee who knows he/she may get in trouble but figures this may be a good way to make a little cash. By the way, I think it's a she...too many exclamation points!!!!

The best part are the questions he/she is receiving. My favorite: "Q: Will you finance the purchase @ 110% of the auctioned value? A: Hahahaha... nope sorry, this is a cash up front deal." The full list of questions is here.

WINE: NO LABEL, LESS FATTY?
Wendy F. responds to my story about potential new wine labels telling you everything, AND I MEAN EVERYTHING, going into that bottle, including calories:

'I drink wine and scotch for the precise reason that they DO NOT tell me how many calories or carbs I am consuming …… and stay away from the "beer" stuff because they all have too many calories and carbs or they wouldn't list them on the labels.' (From Jane: Wendy, maybe water being added to wine is a GOOD thing that should be promoted as a calorie-reducing ingredient--Screaming Eagle Lite! Um, I'm not suggesting in any way that Screaming Eagle waters down its wine to bring down the alcohol content after throwing in dehydrated grapes.)

FINALLY, THE BALLAD OF SALLIE MAE
Ken M: wrote this song parody to the tune of "Where Have All the Flowers Gone?"

Where has J.C. Flowers gone?
Long time passing
Where has J.C. Flowers gone?
Long time ago
They had offered 60 bucks
Now it's less, that really sucks
When will we ever learn…when will we ever learn?

Where have all the buyers gone?
Long time passing
Where have all the buyers gone?
Long time ago
Thought we had an LBO
Now it looks like it's "no go"
When will we ever learn…when will we ever learn?

Where has J.C. Flowers gone?
Long time passing
Where has J.C. Flowers gone?
Long time ago
They've re-offered 50 bucks
Sallie's suing…. says "You're stuck!"
When will we ever learn…when will we ever learn?

Comments? Funny Stories? Email funnybusiness@cnbc.com

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  • Based in Los Angeles, Jane Wells is a CNBC business news reporter and also writes the Funny Business blog for CNBC.com.

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