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Some Real "Scary" Funny Business This Halloween

Wednesday, 31 Oct 2007 | 4:19 PM ET
Sleep walkers
Sleep walkers

Here's something that'll scare the pants off you this Halloween--literally. Reuters reports that Travelodge hotels Britain are grappling with a 600% rise in sleepwalkers this year. Most are men. Many are naked. A...600%...jump. What is up with that? Cialis side effects? (If so,see Huckman's blog--more trouble ahead.)

The Daily Telegraph reports that Travelodge's Director of Sleep ("Oh, and what do you do for a living?") says most of the naked, ambling, semi-conscious guests show up at the front desk trying to get a newspaper or check out. Problem is, they've sorta checked out already, if you get my meaning, so Travelodge has given employees a "sleepwalkers guide" to deal with the crisis. The guide suggests they keep towels handy at the front desk, "in case a customer's dignity needs preserving." I just wanna know how many of these guys are really sleepwalking...

"DO NOT DISTURB" IS TOO DISTURBING
More in the hotel biz. Embassy Suites is having a huge contest for customers to design new "Do Not Disturb" signs. There are 6,000 entries so far, and you can enter at www.embassysuitesdndcontest.com. Winners will be announced December 1st. Now is your chance to tell Housekeeping EXACTLY WHAT YOU MEAN BY "DO NOT DISTURB"! Here are some of the entries.

Question: what kind of sign would you put on your door to keep trick-or-treaters away after you run out of candy? When the extinguished porch light isn't a big enough hint? When I'm inside just trying to watch "The Daily Show" in peace?

MOST INTERESTING MARKETING ATTEMPT AT A HALLOWEEN TIE-IN
A computer security company called CyberDefender promises you a FREE DAY OF TECH SUPPORT TODAY for your home or office PC. Why today? Because it's Halloween, you idiot! Here's the headline for the pitch from www.cyberdefender.com: "Is Your Computer Possessed? Does It Seem Like Your Hard Drive's Haunted? Reclaim Your Computer from Zombies, Botnets, Viruses and other Malware." Ok, an "A" for effort on that one.

SCARY FED SPEAK
Finally, from Mr. Off-the-Wall Street, musing once again on how the Fed Chief might complicate the mundane:
"Ben Bernanke's version of 'TRICK OR TREAT!' : 'Basically, in the view of Federal Open Market Committee policymakers, the householder faces the following alternatives: Concede, within a brief period, a small portion of assets relative to total net worth, or face downside risk to significant other assets, including, but not limited to, personal property.'"

Comments? Funny Stories? Email funnybusiness@cnbc.com

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  • Based in Los Angeles, Jane Wells is a CNBC business news reporter and also writes the Funny Business blog for CNBC.com.

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