- Revenge of the Gangsta Nerds
- It's Beginning To Look A Lot More Riskless
- Topless Business Is Taking Off
- Gambling Drunk, Texting to Live And America's On Sale - Your Emails
- The Lloyd's Prayer, Leggo My Eggo, Plate Hate & Your Emails
- Help Wanted—Please Run $4 Billion University
- Madoff—The Holiday Drink
- Drugs, Booze and Vegas
- Happy World Toilet Day
- Coffee, Tea or My Ad?
- U.S. Stocks Fall on Dubai Worries
- Black Friday at Best Buy
- Strategists on Dubai: Avoid 'Rash Moves' Now
- Longer Lines, Fuller Carts This Black Friday
- Dubai Stock Market Fear Has 'Legs': Dennis Gartman
- Obama's Emission Reduction Pledge Paints Future for Autos
- Is Super Bowl Halftime Act Too Old?
- Surprising Options Trades in TiVo Shares
- EA Sports Hopes to Pump Up Sales Through Pop-Up Locations
- Abu Dhabi Will Aid Debt-Fraught Dubai 'Case by Case'
- Banks With The Biggest Exposure to The UAE
- Dubai's Debt Woes Signal New Era for Creditors
- Next Week: Cash In Now Or Wait For A Santa Rally?
- Dubai Stock Selloff May Bring Buying Opportunity
- Longer Lines, Fuller Carts This Black Friday
- Big US Banks May Be Forced to Raise Capital: Bove
- Bank of America Amends Pay for Senior Executives
- Tiger Woods Out of Hospital After Accident
RSS FEED
Funny Business
![]() |
Sleep walkers |
The Daily Telegraph reports that Travelodge's Director of Sleep ("Oh, and what do you do for a living?") says most of the naked, ambling, semi-conscious guests show up at the front desk trying to get a newspaper or check out. Problem is, they've sorta checked out already, if you get my meaning, so Travelodge has given employees a "sleepwalkers guide" to deal with the crisis. The guide suggests they keep towels handy at the front desk, "in case a customer's dignity needs preserving." I just wanna know how many of these guys are really sleepwalking...
"DO NOT DISTURB" IS TOO DISTURBING
More in the hotel biz. Embassy Suites is having a huge contest for customers to design new "Do Not Disturb" signs. There are 6,000 entries so far, and you can enter at www.embassysuitesdndcontest.com. Winners will be announced December 1st. Now is your chance to tell Housekeeping EXACTLY WHAT YOU MEAN BY "DO NOT DISTURB"! Here are some of the entries.
Question: what kind of sign would you put on your door to keep trick-or-treaters away after you run out of candy? When the extinguished porch light isn't a big enough hint? When I'm inside just trying to watch "The Daily Show" in peace?
MOST INTERESTING MARKETING ATTEMPT AT A HALLOWEEN TIE-IN
A computer security company called CyberDefender promises you a FREE DAY OF TECH SUPPORT TODAY for your home or office PC. Why today? Because it's Halloween, you idiot! Here's the headline for the pitch from www.cyberdefender.com: "Is Your Computer Possessed? Does It Seem Like Your Hard Drive's Haunted? Reclaim Your Computer from Zombies, Botnets, Viruses and other Malware." Ok, an "A" for effort on that one.
SCARY FED SPEAK
Finally, from Mr. Off-the-Wall Street, musing once again on how the Fed Chief might complicate the mundane:
"Ben Bernanke's version of 'TRICK OR TREAT!' : 'Basically, in the view of Federal Open Market Committee policymakers, the householder faces the following alternatives: Concede, within a brief period, a small portion of assets relative to total net worth, or face downside risk to significant other assets, including, but not limited to, personal property.'"
Comments? Funny Stories? Email








