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Lonerbook.com: In Your Face, Facebook!

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Published: Thursday, 8 Nov 2007 | 3:39 PM ET
Jane Wells By:

CNBC Reporter

Source: lonerbook.com
Ted Kaczynski

Eric Starkman runs a corporate communications firm called Starkman & Associates, and he has a good, cynical sense of humor. That's even though his company describes itself in the sort of consultant-speak he should be mocking: "We pride ourselves on our unparalleled ability to develop practical, time- and budget-sensitive communications plans for clients that demonstrate our keen insight into our clients' business goals and objectives." (zzzzzzzzzzzz).

But Starkman's latest blog post pokes fun at everyone suddenly noticing Facebook, even though it's been around for years. He questions the worth and necessity of such social networking sites. For example, Starkman says, "I'm quite adept at keeping in touch with my friends--I've been doing it offline for years. And I have worked out a pretty good system for meeting new people with similar interests. Ready? I chat to people I find at the places I like to go."

He also says Facebook's Bill Gates connection is worrisome. "The value of Facebook actually should have gone down simply because Microsoft bought into the company. I know that sounds a bit melodramatic, but Microsoft's products speak for themselves."

THE BEST PART: Starkman has proposed the anti-Facebook, now in beta! It's called Lonerbook, at www.lonerbook.com. Count me in. (To make the point, the image above is of Ted Kaczynski, the Unabomber. How's that for anti-Facebook!)

Meantime, Starkman also takes on the hype of the green movement (we wouldn't know anything about that...). He suggests that if hotels are SERIOUS about saving the planet, they should do more than cut back on washing towels. Do things like:

Eliminate your obscene Internet access charges for guests who agree to receive an electronic copy of their bill instead of a loooong paper printout - entire forests will be saved!

Rig your plumbing and lighting so that guests must listen to pre-recorded environmental messages from Al Gore before opening a faucet, flushing the toilet, or turning on a lamp. (I would never run the faucet or flush again...)

By the way, GE , my employer, whom I love, sent me its 2007 Citizenship Report, called "Investing in a sustainable future." It's a 50-page report, made of paper, sent to me via snail mail.

Comments? Funny Stories? Email funnybusiness@cnbc.com

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Eric Starkman runs a corporate communications firm called Starkman & Associates, and he has a good, cynical sense of humor. That's even though his company describes itself in the sort of consultant-speak he should be mocking...
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  • Based in Los Angeles, Wells is currently a CNBC business news reporter and also writes CNBC.com's “Funny Business.”

Humor