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Fake Jane Says: Keep Your Personal Life To Yourself!

Fake Jane
CNBC.com photo composite
Fake Jane

Flying to New York today to show the face at HQ. I do that once a year for about ten minutes, which is about all I can handle. The flight is delayed because of weather back East. Nice!

Sitting here at LAX hearing this woman next to me go on and on over her cell phone talking about some dog show. "There was a good bitch there but nothing special." Which leads me to:

FAKE JANE'S NUMBER ONE PET PEEVE: PEOPLE OBLIVIOUS TO THE WORLD AROUND THEM

Fake Jane gets very grumpy over people talking loudly on cell phones in public places. Do I really want to hear what's going on in your life? No. Even more annoying: people who talk non-stop during heated sporting events.

Real Jane and her family spent enough money to buy a small island to score four nosebleed tickets to Saturday's big game between USC and UCLA. Two guys arrive late (this is LA), sit down beside us, and then, during THE MOST IMPORTANT GAME OF THE SEASON BETWEEN TWO SETS OF RABID FANS, they start talking about the jerks in their law office. I don't think they watched a single play. They really don't like someone named Julie. They also dropped a few "f" bombs (in front of kids! Real Jane gave them an "old lady scowl" which had zero effect). Like true Angelenos, they left before the half--and we all cheered.

Anyhow, back to waiting for my weather-delayed flight, listening to someone talk about her verbal tussle with a dog show steward. Actually, this conversation is starting to get interesting...

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  • Based in Los Angeles, Jane Wells is a CNBC business news reporter and also writes the Funny Business blog for CNBC.com.

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