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Mad Mail: Cramer on Steroids?

Booyah Cramer!: You should be ashamed of yourself. I saw your name on the Mitchell report. Now the whole world knows that your great hedge-fund performance was juiced by performance-enhancing drugs. There were telltale signs. I know you're a ballplayer because you have a baseball bat on the set. Those keyboard-smashing tantrums were obviously due to " 'roid rage.” And your bald head looks eerily similar to that of Barry Bonds. Please tell young Cramericans to stay off steroids. --Curtis

Cramer says: “I didn’t know I was on the list. I was too busy watching the Federal Reserve destroy the stock market.”

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Dear Jim: Given the recent cold snap that seems to be blanketing the Midwest and North, does this give more credence to buying Under Armour given their current strategy is too have full stock and sell at full price since they ran short of inventories last year? --Joe

Cramer says: It would have been better if UA sold their entire inventory and replenished, but they’ve just done that for the first time. “Safer play is VF Corp. with a 3% yield.”

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Dear Jim: I’ve been thinking about something. As we all know, there’s a major credit crisis going on and it's hitting everyone in the wallet. So, what does a lack of money inevitably lead to...DIVORCE!!! Financial difficulties are the leading causes of divorce in this country. As the financial problems worsen, this may lead to an increase in divorces. I just can’t find a stock that can help me make money off this idea. Can you help? --Tim

Cramer says: “You could do Cash America. You can do one of the pawn shop guys. Like for instance, when you’re divorced, you give the ring back.”

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Hey Jim: You’re the best! I am very serious when I ask - Have you ever thought about running for the White House? You would make a great and brilliant leader of the free world! You’re too good for politics, but our country definitely needs you. Please give it some thought. --Dan

Cramer says: Cramer has considered running for elected office, but he “realized very quickly that is just a bad idea because in many ways I tell the truth. And that seems to not jive very closely with what I see politicians doing. In other words, I’d be in trouble every single day.”

Dear Jim: Please solve this long-standing puzzle for me. I've always thought the futures market trades separately from the stock market. Why does the stock market always open per futures indication in the pre-market? --Dick

Cramer says: “The futures are in control of the stocks. There’s a lot of money that is bet in the futures, and they move the stocks. They trade first, and then the stocks have to follow because the futures are actually buying baskets of stocks. So it’s just translating.”

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