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This Xmas, Save The Earth From Your Cat

Monday, 24 Dec 2007 | 12:34 PM ET
Cat
Cat

MEET THE FOKKERS' CAT FOR CHRISTMAS

This one came to us pitched as a last-minute Christmas present: potty training your kitty. Think about THAT visual as you sit down in Whoville on Christmas morning to carve your roast beast.

Apparently training the cat isn't something you see only in the movies, as Robert Deniro's character did in "Meet the Parents." Someone claims she's done it in real life and turned it into a business. Go to www.citikitty.com, and for $30 you can buy the CitiKitty Toilet Training kit with the "click of your mouse." (Bwa-ha-ha-ha!)

Rebecca Rescate created CitiKitty while living in a tiny New York apartment with her cat, Samantha: "As soon as someone walked in the door they knew I had a cat."

She says it takes four to six weeks to train a cat. Four to six weeks?! That's the difference between cats and dogs. You can train a dog in a day. You could probably train a cat in a day, but the cat prefers to play dumb.

Wait, There's More!

Potty train the cat and save the planet! Cutting down on kitty litter reduces "greenhouse gas emissions," "silica dust," and "strip mining." Strip mining?

The best part? The PR person pitching the product sent the press release to our pharmaceuticals reporter Mike Huckman. PR people of the world, here's a New Year's resolution: learn what the person you're emailing actually covers. Is there a Dendreon tie-in here? Kitty prostate cancer? No. Naturally, Mike forwarded a story on cat excrement to the reporter most likely to cover that sort of thing... me.

JANE WELLS, THREAT TO FREEDOM: FINAL READER RESPONSES ON SOUTHWEST'S NEW POLICY

So the Southwest Airlines "Funny Business" vote readers took over the weekend shows I'm a Luddite! (see: "Readers Ain't LUV-ing My Southwest Blog")

Let me just point out this is not a scientific survey. If it were, the "Jane's a Luddite" vote would be much higher.

From Brittain H:

I am a frequent flyer on Southwest and LOVE the change. I can get to the airport and enjoy a cup of coffee before my flight without worrying if I will get a good seat. I recently flew last weekend, and all I hear on the jetbridge is how great the new system is. And frankly anyone that can't understand the new system would have been confused by the old, so no change there.

From William H:

I am a retired 25 year Southwest employee and a shareholder in the company. I certainly have plenty of desire to see the company continue its successful story well into the future, but, with that said, I can be candid about the new boarding procedure. It basically stinks!!

I have yet to hear one favorable comment from amongst my friends who travel frequently and I have heard many very unfavorable comments. My own experience, as a ticketed traveler, was awful.

Southwest is attempting to woo a particular segment of business traveler and all at the expense of the bread and butter travelers who have counted on Southwest for years. I fear the changes do not bode well for the company and, as evidenced by the pathetic stock performance, apparently many agree.

From Thomas A:

Jane I just read your story “Southwest Moves About The Country But The Terminal? Forget It” and I must say I can’t agree more with it...after experiencing their new boarding procedure I’ll be taking my business elsewhere in 2008.

I flew Southwest enough in 2007 to become what they call an “A List” Rapid Reward member, but you might as well call it “F List.” Southwest advertises that A list members will always get an A boarding pass….they just don’t say where in the A line. Just last week I got A52 behind families who weren’t A list, great way to treat your best customers.

Then I come to find that I’ll NEVER get anything less then A 25 because Southwest blocks those spots for customers who buy their new Biz select fares, which by the looks of the flights I took last week amounted to three people. Southwest needs to decide whether they are going to become a full serve airline or keep to their roots and keep it simple.

Threat to Freedom?

This one came from Michael B, who says I'm contributing to America's destabilization:

To: Jane Wells,

I beg to differ. No one likes change, and most don't understand the underlying need for change. I like low air fare rates; Southwest has them...I like friendly service, smiling faces: Southwest has them...I like on-time service; DOT always ranks Southwest in the top three categories (customer complaints, on-time arrivals, baggage).

I like process improvements; Southwest researches extensively before changing anything affecting customers, and does a great job satisfying that goal...no one likes the terminal experience, Southwest makes the best out of the worst environment.

Your article circulates (to) readers immediately via the internet, undermining the purpose, intent and reputation of the greatest basic service provider America has ever experienced. You are the antithesis of a caring American because you don't understand, and you contribute, just as drugs and violence, to America's destabilization and future undoing.

Shame on you.

Comments? Funny Stories? Email funnybusiness@cnbc.com

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  • Based in Los Angeles, Jane Wells is a CNBC business news reporter and also writes the Funny Business blog for CNBC.com.

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