In the old days, the three Rs were reading, ’riting  and ’rithmetic?  In today’s high-tech, sleep-deprived society, they’ve apparently evolved into read, relax and romance.

The "New Starry Night" bed from Leggett and Platt, on display at this year’s CES, is supposed to be all those things, employing various technologies -- as the marketing materials claim -- to create a “custom experience” for users.

Leggett & Platt Leggett & Platt's Starry Night bed.

In short, the read mode puts the bed in a position comfortable for reading. The relax mode can be set to massage the body, change room temperature and/or adjust the lights. And, the romance mode, well, it can -- so the company says -- “make nighttime the right time” while it flexes into a “favorite love position.”

Now ordinarily, I wouldn’t be all that interested in a bed, particularly one that claims to be the world’s sexiest. But the Starry Night really is, err, a man-tasy. It has a theater in the round that includes four eight-inch subwoofers (cue Barry White), an audiophile ribbon tweeter and a 2,500-watt amp. But that’s not even the best part. This baby has a high-definition, 1080p projector in the headboard, so you can beam porn, I mean, the game, on the wall while listening in stereo.

And to think all this time I believed candles were the best mood setter.

This sleep toy also offers wireless connectivity, an Apple iPod docking station, DVR and 1.5 terabytes of storage for music or video. In the event you’ve had too much to drink and find yourself getting up to hit the head, the Starry Night will actually light your way.

But it’s not just for guys…really. The Starry Night bed also aims to take on sleep apnea, or at least one of its symptoms. Yes, while you’re trying to convince your significant other to spend $20,000 to $50,000 (depending on options) on your dream bed, mention that it also promises to put an end to snoring through vibration and sensor technology. Given the choice between technology and a good swift pop from my spouse in the middle of the night, I’ll take the former. And no, the Starry Night cannot make you a sandwich or fetch you a beer.

(Click for complete coverage)

The Starry Night bed is going to be on display at the NextGen home in the Central Plaza in a parking lot at the convention center. And this guy, for one, is looking forward to it.

Editor's note: As part of our extensive coverage of CES, CNBC.com's Brian Clark and Ted Kemp will be at the event and contributing to this special edition of Tech Check.