Skip navigation
Funny Business Video Gallery
Assessing whether it's time to worry about credit unions, with CNBC's Jane Wells.
Bakersfield's economy is booming because of oil and it's helping to offset the town's foreclosure problem, with CNBC's J...
See All PostsFunny Business with Jane Wells
Text Size
Apr.04
8:49 AM ET
Countrywide Stock Lights Up, And Colon Better Than Semi-Colon

Countrywide
Countrywide [CFC  Loading...      ()   ]
stock, as of Thursday's close, was up 16 percent for the week, and up a whopping 55 percent since March 17th.

Wednesday night, Countrywide released a flurry of Form 4s, including one showing that CEO Angelo Mozilo has been granted a stock appreciation right (SAR) of 2,358,491 shares, with a strike price of $6.22. The SAR vests in three parts over the next three Decembers.

A stock appreciation right is like an option grant--you pocket the difference if shares rise above your strike price. Except, unlike exercising options, where you have to pay the company the strike price, an SAR skips that and just gives you the money from the increase in share price.

TOUGH TIMES REQUIRE TOUGH TEES
For folks out of work, like, well, a lot of people at Countrywide, now you can advertise yourself 24/7. Blackbird Tees is selling "The Resume Tee." Upload your resume and pay $30 and you can get a T-shirt that says "Hire Me" on the front, and has your resume on the back. See here.

Blackbird Tees creator Jody Dyer tells Flash News she started wearing the shirt herself when she began her business. "It helped me get a lot of job offers," she says. "I built this business with the help of people who I met while wearing the shirt."

A COLON IS BETTER THAN A SEMI-COLON
Some people believe the economy is in the toilet. That is my pathetic transition to one last, totally unrelated item.

How do you go about effectively promoting a new...colostomy bag? Well, Ken Schena gave it his best shot! He's introducing via press release the Schena EZ-Clean ostomy pouch, which empties in a revolutionary new way.

"Currently, colostomates and Ileostomates must clean their pouch by hand. It is an unpleasant and time consuming task...Because the Schena EZ-Clean system can be cleaned without ever touching the pouch contents, colostomates feel much cleaner, and it is a much more pleasant experience for them. It has a tremendous psychological effect on the ostomate. A truly positive effect on their everyday life!"

First let me say that there, but for the grace of God, go I. Second, that's the first time I've ever heard the term "colostomate" ("My Dad's Ukrainian," "Mine's a Colostomate"). Third, I had no clue what an Ileostomate is, but I Googled it, and it's when you don't have a colon. I have never appreciated my colon as much as I do at this moment.

Here's the link. Warning: it's a colostomy bag, ok?

Questions? Comments? Funny Stories? Email

© 2008 CNBC, Inc. All Rights Reserved

Permalink: /id/23953678

HOME  |  NEWS  |  MARKETS  |  EARNINGS  |  INVESTING  |  VIDEO  |  CNBC TV  |  CNBC PLUS  |  CNBC MOBILE  |  CNBC HD+
About CNBC   |   Site Map   |   Privacy Policy   |   Terms of Service   |   Advertise   |   Help   |   Feedback   |   Video Reprints
  Data is a real-time snapshot   *Data is delayed at least 15 minutes

Global Business and Financial News, Stock Quotes, and Market Data and Analysis