Start Early to Stay Strong
So how to start being a good, strong parent? First and foremost, establish a hierarchy about who is in charge in your family. It’s re-ally quite simple:
Rule #1: I am the Parent. I make the rules.
Rule #2: You are the child. You follow the rules.
Rule #3: Any problems, refer to Rule #1.

The  whole thing with rules is this: it’s all about responsibility.

When you make guidelines, it makes life easier, it manages expectations. Don’t wait! Start early and start them young.

What happens if you don’t? Well, have you ever seen parents who allow a toddler to hit them in the face because they think it’s so cute? Later, when the child is five or six and hits them in front of others, they are embarrassed. What if the kid keeps on punch-ing when he or she is older? Think about that. Negative behavior like that means the parents started the rules too late (or not at all). Listen up: if you don’t stop those things early, you will be scared of your own child in your own  house.

Think about it this way: approach child rearing like you would if you had a flat tire on your car. As soon as you feel the first jolt of the flat, you stop and change it, right? If you try and drive to the nearest station (even if it’s only a few blocks away) the tire will be damaged and the rim will be bent out of shape. The same holds true when you raise a child. Stop and regroup at the first blowout. Provide a powerful, initial action or conse-quence when the offensive behavior first occurs so you won’t end up bent out of shape.

So, when your baby tries to hit mommy or daddy, touch some-thing dangerous, or do something  inappropriate—move fast. Re-direct your child right away to something  else—anything  else—a toy, a book, even a funny sound. Do it every time to refocus their attention. This is important, as it is more effective to redirect a child’s attention from the wrong behavior than to snatch the of-fending thing away or grab their hands too hard. That only sets off a kid’s crying  jag—it does nothing for learning. Sometimes, kids start to wail because they know it will get your interest when they do it. Yes, they are that smart.

I’ve seen people slap a little kid’s hand when they try to hit or touch the wrong thing. Come on, that is good for nothin’ because it doesn’t teach the right behavior. Worse, sometimes the same parent turns around and spanks the kid for crying because his hand hurts. That reaction is just about the dumbest thing I have ever seen.

Don’t Hide the Cookie Jar
As I said earlier, children are never too young for rules. They can better appreciate the rules if parents allow them to understand how behavior becomes a matter of choice. Your child, even as a little one, can learn to avoid bad consequences and seek good re-inforcements through their actions.

In setting up your rules, it is important to balance a child’s need for exploration and freedom with safety. Start at square one with a few practical plans. For instance, early in your parenting career you should baby-proof your house to some extent so you do not con-stantly have to say no every time your baby turns around. But, you don’t need to go overboard and remove everything. If you do, it will be hard to take your child to someone  else’s un-baby-proofed  house. Do the basics, of course, and remove obviously harmful items. After you take care of that, make it possible—by your rules—to allow your child to move around in the  house and make the right choices.

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