The Scoop on the Snoop
Some parents tell me their kids inform them their bedrooms are off limits. Are you kidding me? In what world do these parents live? Newsflash: everything in the  whole  house belongs to the parents. This includes the kid’s room and everything in it.

Being ordered to stay away from your child’s room by that child is not acceptable. Being ordered to do anything by your child is not acceptable. As a parent, you need to be a winner in the authority game. You do this by having a clear line about who is in charge—namely, you. If you’ve lost your authority, take it back. It’s better if you didn’t lose it in the first place—by acting like a friend—but it’s not too late to grab it back. Do it now.

On the other hand, unless you suspect problems with illegal or dangerous activities, there is no good reason to snoop around your child’s room. Andi had all kinds of notes strewn around her room when she was a teenager. Once, I picked one up and started to read it. I discovered it was only about her personal stuff and gossip. She trusted me enough to leave those notes out in the open, so I needed to trust her enough not to go back and read them all—even if I wanted to.

Now, if I thought she was on drugs or something  else I’d pull out the mattress and rip through her closet. Some parents do that kind of thing anyway, just to be all up in their kid’s business. There is no need for that; certain privacies must be observed—children do deserve a certain respect.

Don’t Just Set the Table: Set a Good Example
You simply must set a good example. Who hasn’t heard “don’t do as I do, do as I say”? Even as an adult, there are some things you just cannot  do—you know what I’m talking about. Our children are our messengers, and we need to send them out into the world with a positive message.

It works best if the hero/role model is from your own family.

I want to be that hero for my children. I don’t want some model or TV star to be my daughter’s role model, I want it to be me. After all, who needs Wonder Woman when you’ve got your mama?

I wanted to be a hero to my boys too, in a different way. On Mother’s Day one year, Andre gave me a card he made in school that depicted me as Super Mommy. I loved that card. I guess I wanted to be the one to burst through walls and leap over tall buildings and big kitchens to do the right thing for my kids. I wanted to let them know the sky was the limit for their aspira-tions. Along with all that bursting and leaping, I still have the re-sponsibility to carry myself as a respectable parent.

I know my children did not have to look at fictional heroes for good examples. A  real-life hero sat at the head of the dinner table every night at our  house. He was their father, Julius Rock. His dedication and commitment to his family was a powerful model for all our children. He came home every Thursday and put his paycheck down. He made sure everything went well in our house. We never worried when Daddy was in the  house. Just his pres-ence made us feel we  were OK and nothing could be wrong as long as he was there.

Tools:

PrintEmail

Next Post

Previous PostBack to Main Page