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Fake Jane On Idol And A TiVo Spoiler

Thursday, 10 Apr 2008 | 4:34 PM ET
Fake Jane
CNBC.com photo composite
Fake Jane

I, Fake Jane, couldn't watch all of "Idol Gives Back" last night. It's all very worthy, but a self-absorbed, bitter woman like myself can only fabricate sympathy for so long.

Real Jane was crying during the Annie Lennox video, but I kept thinking, "Annie Lennox AGAIN? Carrie Underwood AGAIN?"

Real Jane's daughter pointed out the irony of having Miley Cyrus perform. At age 15, she's too young to be an "Idol" contestant. Sarah Silverman proved she's funnier than her boyfriend--Jimmy Kimmel made about three too many comments on Simon Cowell's nipples. One was enough. I got the picture.

Anyhow, while Real Jane thinks David Cook may win, I was quite taken with Jason Castro's comeback this week. But, honestly, the women have to go. Fake Jane naturally likes men more--though I do respect Kristy Lee Cook's refusal to roll over and play dead.

So, who goes home tonight? I say Syesha Mercado. And I'm not alone. TiVo says it can predict who's going home each week by monitoring which performances get rewound and re-watched the most, and which get skipped. Based on this scientific analysis, Syesha will leave the Idol mansion tonight. The company says this formula has correctly predicted the weekly loser for the last month. By the way, David Archuleta was re-watched the most.

Questions? Comments? Funny Stories? Email funnybusiness@cnbc.com

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  • Based in Los Angeles, Jane Wells is a CNBC business news reporter and also writes the Funny Business blog for CNBC.com.

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