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Ethanol, Chickens (Headless) And Paula Abdul: Your Emails

I get emails.

On the ethanol stories.
OLC writes:
"Those drivers that gripe about the price of a gallon of oil-produced gasoline don't seem to mind buying large gas guzzling SUVs and pickups which retail in the $30,000 range, when they really could get by on a smaller vehicle. Many U.S. citizens are overweight and can't stand to cut back on what they eat, reducing food costs and being more healthy for it. U.S. produced ethanol is here to stay."

Scott M. writes:
"Gas takes more energy to produce then ethanol does..."

Brendan K. writes:
"I remember going to a conference in September of last year where a Biodiesel producer was whining that 80 biodiesel plants had shut down in the U.S. so far that year, and that his biodiesel plant was no longer profitable after the price for soybean oil went from 24 cents to 40 cents on increased demand, (and the State stopped subsidizing him). Apparently the idea of using the futures market to hedge against a sudden increase in your feedstocks, making a product that could compete on an even playing field, (by his own admission his biodiesel cost between 11 and 22 cents more a gallon to produce than real diesel), or simply not investing in a very risky business with very thin margins was beyond him."

On emails that rightfully question my qualifications for this job, a few of you came to my defense. First, thank you. Second, nasty-grams keep me honest.

From Jeff J:
"Jane, Maybe they forget YOU are at CNBC with its pay, perks, travel, and blog / fan base. They aren’t. You banter and ponder with on-air colleagues; they don’t. (What is Jim Cramer really like?) You do the fun interviews; they don’t. You dress up as Fake Jane; well, maybe they do too regardless of gender? (5-6 reader reply!)...If critics try to induce misfortune, they forget schadenfreude (the new American pastime) works both ways."

Julie B. writes:
"Why do people think that it's ok to say these awful things over this digital medium that they would never say to your face? Were these people raised in barns? I mean did this guy actually email you and then speak about you in the third person?"

Well, we often speak of Jane in the third person...

Regarding my favorite story of the week--Mike the Headless Chicken--Alex in Boston writes:

Paula Abdul
AP
Paula Abdul

"Your blog helps me get through the workday. However, I shouldn't have read this column during my cube picnic (aka lunch). Thanks for the heads up (pun intended)......."

Now don't forget to submit fake blogs posing as the alter ego of a CEO or business bigwig--on any topic you choose. Winner gets a Fake Jane coffee mug!

Finally, there's talk that Paula Abdul should be dumped from "American Idol." I don't know about you, but she's become one of the main reasons to watch.

Questions? Comments? Funny Stories? Email funnybusiness@cnbc.com

  • Based in Los Angeles, Jane Wells is a CNBC business news reporter and also writes the Funny Business blog for CNBC.com.

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