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Before Heading To Nevada, First Do Some "Manscaping"

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Published: Thursday, 12 Jun 2008 | 2:28 PM ET
Jane Wells By:

CNBC Reporter

If you saw my previous post on the BunnyRanch in Nevada offering customers a double-your-pleasure special for those paying with their stimulus checks, well, here's something to consider before you head to the Silver State.

I've learned a new term--Manscaping--and apparently all men need it. Described in a press release from Beverly Hills "laser queen" Dana Elise, manscaping is "cleaning up the superfluous fur on a man" using "strategic de-hairifying...to avoid looking like a caveman." De-hairifying? De-horrifying! She included what I assume are before-and-after pictures, seen here. Kinda subtle.

AND FOR THE BUNNIES
There's a whole new business of plastic surgery to fix...plastic surgery. Dr. Brent Moelleken specializes in facelift revisions. Here are some of his signs of a facelift gone wrong!

-The face appears odd or excessively tight. (duh)

-"The Pixie Ear Look." The ears have been elongated and the ears are gone or 'melted' into the face. (yikes!)

-Parts of the face don't match.

-"Nike Swoosh look." Excessive elevation of the sides of the face with sagging of the area below the eyes.

-The odd look. You can't quite put your finger on it, but something is wrong!

Using this checklist, everyone in Beverly Hills has a facelift gone wrong. Good news for Dr. Moelleken! He can provide a do-over that will make your face look less pulled-up than Big Brown at the Belmont. Techniques include a "superficial cheeklift" to fix problems with overly-stretched lower lids. Yes, that ought to fix everything.

YOU'RE SO VEIN
Fixing facelifts isn't the only new territory for the beauty industry. Vein-removal is looking up. Up above the varicose veins on legs. Dr. Alexander Cadoux, who works at the same clinic pitching "manscaping," is now offering vein-removal for veins elsewhere on the body, "including augmented breasts." He provided this image.

Geez! Is anyone even looking at her veins? But apparently every cosmetic procedure now requires several fixes. I call it the "Fake Jane" syndrome.

YOUR EMAILS ON FLYING FAT
On yesterday's post about suggestions by some that airlines charge customers based on their weight:

From Alan C:
You'd think setting airline ticket prices was rocket science. If you're not making money, raise the price! More volume at a loss per unit of volume is a bigger loss, not profitability. Frankly, I wouldn't mind paying more for my wide butt (and long legs) if I'd actually get a seat as big as it is, instead of expecting it to shimmy into a seat designed for a size 0.

From Mike N.:
Pay to use the toilet on the airplane? I'll bring a plastic jug..

Questions? Comments? Funny Stories? Email funnybusiness@cnbc.com

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I've learned a new term--Manscaping--and apparently all men need it. Described in a press release from Beverly Hills "laser queen" Dana Elise, manscaping is "cleaning up the superfluous fur on a man" using "strategic de-hairifying...to avoid looking like a caveman."

   
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  • Based in Los Angeles, Wells is currently a CNBC business news reporter and also writes CNBC.com's “Funny Business.”

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