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5. Self-efficacy
A basic ingredient in resilience is belief in one’s self - self-confidence. Resilient people believe that they are effective in the world. They have learned what their strengths and weaknesses are and they rely on their strengths to navigate the challenges in life. For one person this might mean using his sense of humor to deal with stress; for another person it might mean using her creativity to come up with new ways to handle problems. But, don’t confuse self-efficacy with self-esteem. Self-esteem is about feeling good about one’s self and self-efficacy is about effecting change in the world. The road to resilience is through self-efficacy not self-esteem. If you or your child is confident and knows how to master what life throws in your path, self-esteem will follow.
6. Empathy
Resilient people are connected with others. In fact, some of the landmark studies in resilience show that children who have at least one enduring relationship with a caring adult (a parent, a neighbor, a teacher, a coach) do well and can overcome even the most difficult hardships. Empathy is an important component of strong social relationships. People who care about others, are interested in other people’s feelings and experiences and want to help others through tough times are more likely to have strong, healthy friendships. Empathy serves resilience by facilitating strong relationships. Children who have a strong network of friends and adults who care about them have a support system that they can turn to when they need help.
7. Reaching Out
Resilient children take risks. I don’t mean hurling themselves off mountain tops or riding motorcycles without helmets. I mean appropriate, horizon expanding risks. Children who are resilient don’t see failure as something to be avoided. They are willing to try new things because deep down they know that by trying new things and taking risks they will learn more, achieve more, and enjoy life more. The risk taking might take the form of signing up for a hard class or talking with someone they’ve never met before or even just trying a new food. Their optimism fuels them and their self-efficacy gives them the confidence to try, even when that means risking failure.
8. Your Resilience Cupboard
Take a moment and reflect on the Seven Ingredients of Resilience. Make a list of the ingredients you have in abundance (your resilience strengths) and make a list of the resilience ingredients you are low on (your resilience weaknesses). Do the same for your child. Remember, we can all become more resilient tomorrow than we are today. You don’t need to have your cupboard overflowing with each of the seven ingredients. Challenge yourself to use your resilience strengths more fully and see if you can devote some energy to increasing one of the ingredients you are low on.
9. Everyday Strategies for Enhancing Resilience and Optimism
I have been very fortunate to partner with Pepperidge Farm Goldfish to develop a website that provides parents and educators free information for enhancing resilience in themselves and their children. The website is called www.fishfulthinking.com and it has articles, a Q & A section with me, a resilience quiz, a book club, as well everyday activities that help you to build resilience in your family. I’m very proud of the website and hope you will check it out!
- Karen
Data is a real-time snapshot *Data is delayed at least 15 minutes