CNBC.com Fake Jane

I, Fake Jane, LOVE the weak dollar. Of course it means I can’t afford to travel, but I can’t afford to do anything anyway—I have to save my pennies for important things, like trying to find someone who will bleach the whites of my eyes.

I’m thrilled about a weak currency because new research by Wall Street Fighter and Chickipedia reveals that the weaker a nation’s currency is, the hotter its women look. The way the dollar is going, things are looking good for ol’ FJ in the ol’ US-of-A.

The U.S. isn’t on the list yet of weak-money-hot-babes. Instead, you’ll find countries like Uruguay, Cuba, and the Philippines.

“In the Dominican Republic you could probably live like a king for a weekend for the same price as a tank of gas in the U.S.,” says the blog, before noting, “The Dominican Republic's own Dania Ramirez seems to have hit it big stateside with her recurring role in NBC's Heroes…”

Salma Hayek

Salma Hayek is a cited as a typical beauty from traditionally weak-peso’d Mexico, which the blog strangely refers to as “America’s Beard” (see the T-shirt, not sure I get it.)

But coming in at #1 on the list is…COLOMBIA! Home to singer Shakira and Oscar-nominated actress Catalina Sandino Moreno. “Congratulations to Colombia for having both the weakest peso and some of the hottest women,” WallStreetFighter raves. “I'm sure they prefer that arrangement to what they've got in England - women with horrible accents, screwed up teeth, and a strong currency…”

Questions? Comments? Funny Stories? Email