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Global Warming Will Cause Increase In Kidney Stones?

AP

They're at it again. Scientists. The stuff they fill their days with researching.

From the National Academy of Sciences comes this breaking news: climate change will lead to more kidney stones.

Logically, I'm thinking, ok, you get kidney stones when you're not hydrated and the hotter the planet becomes, the more you'll sweat, the less hydrated you'll be.

So this is news? (By the way, I had a kidney stone once. Yes, it hurts more than labor pains).

But the folks at the University of Texas' Dept. of Geosciences have really gotten into this topic. They say kidney stones cases could jump 30 percent in some regions. "In addition," the press release says, "they calculate that the direct and indirect costs of treating approximately 2 million new kidney stone cases annually could increase by $1 billion by 2050." !!!! They say that's 25 percent more than "current expenditures." WHO is tracking kidney stone expenditures?

Finally, the researchers say the most vulnerable region to kidney stone outbreaks will probably be in the ever-hotter Southeast. "If, however, the risk suddenly climbs steeply at some threshold temperature, a band stretching from Kentucky to northern California would likely see the most new cases."

Time to go have another glass of water from a melting ice cap.

THE MIND OF THE AUSTRIAN MALE
There's a new web site in Austria which reminds men of important dates, like anniversaries, free of charge. The siteis being sponsored in part by Pfizer! (Does this mean forgetfulness is a side effect of Viagra?) The site warns men, "When was Playboy first published in German? 1972. When did you first meet your wife? When was the first kiss? Be sure, SHE knows all those things!" Wait, Austrian wives know when Playboy was first published in Germany?

The site tries to make the case that men and women are different. "One thing's for sure: a woman's brain has a reliable reminder-service for important dates in a relationship," it says. (Um, I call it the "brain" part of the brain.) "A man's memory, on the other hand, is more geared towards sports, historic or political events, or is at least more likely to fail due to everyday stress." Austrian men get more stressed out than women? And their memories are "geared" towards to sports and politics but not sex? Is that why the men can't remember when Playboy was first published in Germany, but their wives can?

Questions? Comments? Funny Stories? Email funnybusiness@cnbc.com

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  • Based in Los Angeles, Jane Wells is a CNBC business news reporter and also writes the Funny Business blog for CNBC.com.

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