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Patti Novak: What To Look For To Find a Spouse for Success

Thursday, 17 Jul 2008 | 8:16 PM ET

By Patti Novak
Choosing the right spouse for success is as difficult as choosing the right spouse at all. There are important things to consider while dating if your life is headed down a certain career path.

Maybe you’re a doctor and have demanding hours, and plenty of stress to go along with it. Maybe you’re the CEO of a high-rank corporation and you have the toys to prove it. Maybe you’re a truck driver, working at night and sleeping through the day.

In any case, it’s important to be with someone who not only understands your career demands, but supports you in them.

If your job is time consuming, an ideal partner would be someone who is patient and independent. While dating, observe behaviors such as reactions to simple, every day things like service at restaurants. Is she tapping the table, making known her annoyance with how long it’s taking for that wet-nap she asked for? Does he always ask you if you’re okay, or if there’s something bothering you, or if you’re mad at him for no reason at all? This could be a sign of dependency, and insecurity.

For a job that is in a position of power, raking in the dough so to speak, the perfect partner would be someone who isn’t the jealous type, and has plenty of self confidence. If your date questions you every time your phone beeps and wants to know where you were exactly at 11:42 last night, this could be a red flag. Also beware of the infamous gold digger. These people can be either male or female. Try to avoid the subject of how much money you have and how many jet ski’s you’ve got parked in your 18-car garage until well into the dating process with that person.

For a lot of people, stress is a huge component of career life, and solace is often found at home. If you’re dating someone who stresses you out on top of your pre-existing work-related stress, you put your well-being at risk-- not to mention your health. While a certain amount of everyday stress is normal, in large quantities, it is a leading cause of problems such as anxiety and depression, and increases heart rate and blood pressure. If your job is physically and/or emotionally demanding and draining, it’s important to share your home life with someone who is relaxed and easy going. Good decision makers and logical thinkers are a plus as well. If your date has a tendency to make small things into big things, and complains more often than not, it might be time to part ways.

- Patti