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Please enjoy the continuing saga of Mayvene and the "Sycamore Hill" cast while I'm away on vacation. Serializing a television script seemed as good as any idea I had for filling up the blog while I'm away.
When we last left off, Mayvene heard the "body snatchers" (paramedics) arriving at her condo complex, where only those 55 and older can reside. Today, we learned who died, but that's not as interesting as the people left behind.
Act One
Scene A
FADE IN:
EXT. MAYVENE’S CONDO
MAYVENE OPENS HER DOOR AND STEPS OUTSIDE. PARAMEDICS BRIAN AND JOE RUSH PAST HER AND SHE FOLLOWS THEM INTO THE NEXT BUILDING. OUTSIDE A UNIT A CROWD IS CAUSING A COMMOTION, INCLUDING NEIGHBORS JOANN, MAGGIE, AND GERTIE. MAYVENE FOLLOWS THE PARAMEDICS INSIDE…
INT. BILL’S CONDO
INSIDE LINDA IS DISTRAUGHT. SHE’S ABOUT 65, WEARING
A NICE SWEATSUIT AND FULL MAKE-UP. HER HAIR’S BEEN DONE.
BILL HAS SLIPPED OFF A DESK CHAIR AND IS ON THE
GROUND, DEAD. HE’S ABOUT 80, ALSO IN A NICE SWEATSUIT. AN OLD-FASHIONED TYPEWRITER IS ON THE DESK WITH A SHEET OF PAPER IN IT, SHOWING A FEW TYPED SENTENCES.
LINDA
He’s dead! Bill is dead! What will
I do? Mayvene, what will I do without
him?
MAYVENE
Oh, Linda!
MAYVENE goes to hug her as paramedics work on BILL.
POLICE OFFICER DAN ENTERS, professional but
weary.
MAYVENE
Hello, Dan. Sorry to see you again
so soon.
POLICE OFFICER DAN
It’s that time of the month!
JOANN
(to neighbors in doorway)
Haven’t used that phrase in years.
POLICE OFFICER DAN
What happened?
LINDA
I was at the hairdresser getting a
rinse. I came back here to make Bill
lunch. Bill (catches her breath), Bill,
my Bill, was just starting a new story
for the Sycamore Scribes. He liked to
write about The Big One.
POLICE OFFICER DAN
The big what?
The PARAMEDICS try to stifle a snicker.
MAYVENE
The war, for goodness sakes!
Brian and Joe, do you always have
to giggle at times like these?
PARAMEDIC BRIAN
Sorry, Mayvene.
The PARAMEDICS lean over BILL’s dead body to
cover their laughter.
LINDA
(sobbing)
The story he’s typing is about Iwo Jima, days two through four.
MAGGIE
(to JOANN in doorway)
Another laugh riot from Bill.
LINDA
I walked in about fifteen minutes ago,
and…THIS IS HOW I FOUND HIM! DEAD!
DEAD! What am I going to do?
The neighbors ooze into the room.
POLICE OFFICER DAN
What was the deceased’s last name?
LINDA starts blubbering. MAYVENE takes charge.
MAYVENE
Guthrie. G-u-t-h-r-i-e.
GERTIE
(to neighbors)
Is Mayvene spelling names again?
MAYVENE
(to officer)
I believe he was 80 years old. He
has two sons, one lives in town,
the other one, (to LINDA), where
does the other one live?
LINDA
(sobbing)
In Las Vegas, but his wife won’t even
speak to me. She thinks I’m trying to
grab Bill’s money.
CU CROWD OF NEIGHBORS
JOANN
(to the others)
She is.
POLICE OFFICER DAN quietly discusses details with
MAYVENE and LINDA and PARAMEDIC BRIAN.
JOANN
Reminds me of when Bob died. I woke up,
turned over, and (pause), he was … gone.
MAGGIE
Well at least he went quickly, Joann.
Sam suffered for so long, you can’t believe
the stuff he was coughing up at the
end. Balls of phlegm THIS big (motions
with hands).
GERTIE
Henry fell over from a heart attack.
MAGGIE
I didn’t know that, Gertie. I’m sorry.
GERTIE
For what? I hated the sonofabitch.
MAYVENE
(sternly to the neighbors)
Gertie, Joann, and Maggie! Do you have to
go into that again right now? Can we get
through one day, ONE INCIDENT, without
recounting how our husbands died?
LINDA starts sobbing again.
POLICE OFFICER DAN
(motioning to PARAMEDIC BRIAN)
Brian says he doesn’t have his
wallet on him. I’ll need it, ma’am.
LINDA
Why?
POLICE OFFICER DAN
To give to the next of kin.
LINDA
But I am the next of kin!
POLICE OFFICER DAN
Ma’am, you were not married to the
deceased.
Awkward pause.
MAYVENE
Linda, get the wallet. Dan is just
doing his job.
LINDA
(reluctant)
But Bill lets ME keep his wallet. Do
I have to give you the credit cards, too?
POLICE OFFICER DAN
Definitely, ma’am.
LINDA sobs and begins digging into her purse for the wallet.
IRMA ENTERS. She’s about 90, in a wheelchair, pushed
by her Filipino nurse, CLAIRE.
IRMA
Joann, what happened?
JOANN
Bill died, Irma. I can’t tell whether
Linda’s more upset about living without
him or living without his money.
IRMA
Honey, it’s the money. That man’s breath
was so shockingly bad, let me just say I’m
glad I could depend on my Depends
whenever he spoke to me.
MAYVENE
Irma, please!
(end for today)
Up next…rumors about Rudolph van Ryan, and what is GTA?
Questions? Comments? Funny Stories? Email



