Finally, you learn what GTA means, and life will never be the same (ok, it's still the same, but doesn't that sound like something a television writer would write? Sigh.)

I'll be back Monday to start blogging about happier topics, like the upcoming anniversary of Countrywide's death spiral. I wonder what Mayvene would say about that. Thanks for reading.

EPILOGUE

CU COMPUTER SCREEN

    WORDS ARE TYPED ONSCREEN AS YOU HEAR MAYVENE SAY THEM.

           MAYVENE (V.O.)

      Dear Paula…what a couple of days.

MS MAYVENE AT HER DESK TYPING

                    MAYVENE (V.O.)

I had a few tense moments with Joann’s

son, Tom, one who is apparently dealing drugs

to senior citizens. He also listens to horrible

music by that guy named after the

M&Ms candy. These rappers keep talking

about hoes. What do they know about hoes?

They’ve never set foot in a garden.

In one song Tom plays they’re talking

about a “high priced hoe.” Reminds me of

the $100 one I saw at Home Depot. Now THAT

was a high priced hoe. Your father couldn’t

believe it.

She looks at picture of her late husband. Then resumes typing.

MAYVENE (V.O.)

          I do miss your dad. Your father used to                                       

say I took everything much too seriously.

I’ll never forget the day Neil died…

She pauses, looks at what she’s just written, and

starts laughing.

CU COMPUTER SCREEN

The last sentence fragment about “the day Neil died” is highlighted and deleted. Then MAYVENE resumes typing.

MAYVENE (V.O.)

          By the way, if I ever start talking

about the day your father died, please          

shoot me like a rabid dog. I’ll see

you tonight for dinner. Love, Mom.

SOUND: AMBULANCE SIREN

MAYVENE looks out the window and sighs. Then resumes typing.

        MAYVENE (V.O.)

P.S. The body snatchers are back.

She shakes her head, and clicks “send,” then gets up to

go investigate.

END OF EPILOGUE

OVER CREDITS:

PARK AT CONDO COMPLEX

PARAMEDIC BRIAN, MIRIAM, ANDY AND RON SIT ON BENCH. IRMA SITS IN HER WHEELCHAIR, WITH NURSE CLAIRE NEARBY. ALL ARE LOOKING AHEAD AT SOMETHING, MOST DRINKING COFFEE. BRIAN HAS POPCORN.

                 RON

          I say … mild stroke!

                 MIRIAM

          No, no. Bad hip replacement.

                 IRMA

          I agree.

                        CLAIRE

                 Bad drug reaction.

                        ANDY

         I say Claire’s right.

                        PARAMEDIC BRIAN

                 You’re all wrong. Gallstones.

MS ELDERLY MAN STRUGGLES TO WALK ACROSS THE PARK.

This is whom they’ve been staring at.

                        RON

         How do you know?              

                    PARAMEDIC BRIAN

         I know.

SHOREH walks by.

                    SHOREH

                What are you guys doing?

                    RON

               We’re playing GTA.

                    SHOREH

               (stifling a sob)

                GTA?

                    MIRIAM

              “Guess The Affliction.” We’re trying

               to figure out what’s wrong with the

               new guy who just moved in. Shoreh, don’t

       start crying. (hands her a Kleenex)

SHOREH chokes down sobs, ponders the man struggling to walk, then forces her way onto the bench with the others, fully in control of her emotions and reaching for some popcorn.

                    SHOREH

          I know what’s bothering him. Bad

          gas, had it myself this morning.

FADE TO BLACK    

THE END

Questions? Comments? Funny Stories? Email

Tools:

PrintEmail

Next Post

Previous PostBack to Main Page