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Funny Business
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Your Verdicts For Madoff
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CNBC.com Bernie Madoff |
Only a few more hours to submit your creative suggestions for Bernard Madoff's sentence.
Remember, nothing above a PG-13 rating!
I will stop taking submissions once court ends Thursday.
Then I will choose what I consider the top ten ideas (hey, it's my blog) and put them up for a vote.
The winner will receive a few rolls of Bernie Madoff toilet paper.
Some of the latest suggestions:
Funny Business Comments: |
Dale N.: "Two hundreds lectures to be made by Mr. Madoff all across the country about why he did it, while only wearing a jockstrap. Question and answer sessions following. All proceeds go to a relief fund. Then 75 years in jail."
Jeff L: "Give him life…and then life support. We can watch him pay for generations."
Barrett Y.'s suggestion reminds me of an old "Seinfeld" episode: "He should be forced to watch 'The English Patient' 500,000,000,000,000 times in loop!"
Theo K.:"Drop him and his wife into the sewers of Long Island, close the hole, and see if they can make it back to Manhattan. It's just a big stinky puzzle. A smart man like that should find something to eat and drink on the way back, in a couple of months."
Michael C: "He should be sentenced to work for Tim Geithner since no one else wants to."
Walter A: "Mr. Madoff should be sentenced to hard labor, making small rocks out of big rocks and letting victims volunteer to observe. They will be in charge of quality control to make sure the job is done to their satisfaction."
John H: "Make him live with Sarah Palin or Ann Coulter."
Bob K. brought up a common theme in your emails: "Just like the mob knows, the way to punish him is through his sons. His wife, his two sons and his grandchildren should all live like us working stiffs. They should go to public schools and stay awake at night worrying about health insurance and college tuitions."
Gene W.: "I think he should have to go ice fishing with the boys from Pittsfield Maine. We're going this weekend, after all. And as soon as we have him drill the holes in the ice, we would all look at each other and ask if anyone remembered to buy the bait. And then we would all stare at Madoff with that 'well, we have to make do with what we brought' look. He'll crack and tell us where the money is, or we'll show him where the fish are."
John T. expresses another common sentiment in some emails: "We should pray for him. We should condemn the sin and not the sinner, because what ever punishment he receives here on earth is going to seem like a walk in the park compared to what may be waiting for him."
Bill S.: "His sentence should be cleaning urinals and toilets. That way, he will understand, first hand, what it's like to be --it on."
Mark S., in a longer email, neatly summarizes hundreds of ideas you've submitted, putting them all into one "schedule": "I would consign him to live in a cardboard lean-to under a freeway bridge in New York City in the winter, and in hot, humid, mosquito infested Houston, Texas in the summer... For four hours each morning Madoff should be forced to scrounge for his food in the dumpsters and garbage cans of New York and Houston. He should also be forced to get his clothing from either the dumpsters or from a homeless shelter... He should be forced to work uncompensated for six hours each day for the Securities and Exchange Commission helping this agency to uncover other frauds and Ponzi schemes as I am sure we have only uncovered the tip of the iceberg. After getting off work he should be allowed to shower and shave at a homeless shelter. From six to nine o'clock each evening he should be forced to watch recorded videos of pictures and audio stories of what happened to the thousands of people he scammed and took advantage of... I would allow him to spend his entertainment hour each evening in 'stimulating intellectual' conversation with other homeless street people if he chose to do so. In short, I would consign him to the very life he has consigned his victims to for the rest of his life."
Data is a real-time snapshot *Data is delayed at least 15 minutes
