Funny Business

Catching up on your emails! By the way, the flood of mail coming in about the "Fat Four" will be posted later.

Funny Business Comments:

After I reported an insider's guide to Madoff's jail experience, I heard from a few people who've also been incarcerated.

Jim: "I spent 27 months in a very similar federal facility...for 'concealment of assets'...Your article is 'spot on'. Kosher meals and muslim meals were highly regarded and hard to get for the reasons that you mentioned. I personally chose a 'heart healthy' diet, not for medical reasons, but the main course was soy based. The meat/chicken provided in the regular meals had usually been frozen for many years. It is a strange world where values are upside down. I was released in 2004 and have completed my 36 months of supervised release.

I am certain that Madoff has convinced himself that he is a noble man taking the fall for everyone else, but I can't imagine anything worse than growing elderly and dying in such an inistitution. I turned 50 while locked up and that was pretty traumatic. Wherever they send him, it will be better than where he is now. On the other hand, he deserves the misery that is about to be his everyday existence."

From Ron: "Very accurate. Brought back some very unpleasant memories. Everyone needs to be locked up for about one week. That is the surest way to deter criminal behavior."

Ron (different Ron from above) wonders if he's found a victim: "Hi Jane, I just noticed a late model black Audi on Broadway & 83rd St, NYC with a vanity licence plate reading 'Dec 11', the date when Madoff turned himself in. Hopefully the owner can still afford to gas it up!!"

And yet ANOTHER Ron writes about the pork sausage Madoff occasionally likes: "I haven't laughed that hard in a long time..."

FISH FACES

Speaking of food, I got a few emails about the "Fishy Business" of fast food chains promoting fish sandwiches during Lent:

From Mel C.: "I think the fish on Friday thing for Catholics (used to be) every Friday when I was a child, but now it's only Fridays in Lent...started with a Pope, centuries ago, who made a deal with the 'fisherman in Rome!' They weren't selling enough fish! Voila, fish every Friday. In my suburban NYC home that was fish sticks or cakes and Franco American spaghetti!"

Bill M: "Funny article. Made me smile. And the first part where you mention the 2 fish sandwiches for $3 reminded me of a trick I see at our local Safeway (ticker: SWY) store. Reeses Peanut Butter cups, Buy 2 get 3 free - $2. Then you have to do the math. Ok that's 5 for $2, 40 cents each. Then. Wait a minute. What am I going to do with FIVE (5)! Reeses Peanut Butter cups??? I just need to imagine the look on my wife's face and I look away."

Dan W: "As a Catholic -- You're right, we aren't supposed to eat meat or poultry on Fridays during Lent...We eat a lot of cheese pizza on Fridays during Lent. The fast food fish sandwiches are nasty - they fry them in that grease. Wish someone had a good fish sandwich that wouldn't drive your LDL through the roof."

BROKE AND BROKER

On my post about research into why your broker doesn't get as upset about losses as you do,

FH writes: "What I get from this piece is that we simply provide some liberally pharma-laced bottled water to every investor and the Depression is cured! This is brilliant, cost-effective, and a truly American solution. And it's right in line with what some of your less-enlightened colleagues employed at the Network are always bleating about.. 'if only you believe and click your heels three times like this, and say, 'I want a dividend....I want a dividend....'

And as I have always said: It's really all a matter of perspective. Either the glass is half full, or that's some scum on the bottom that is fooling your a**.'"

SLEEPING DOGS DON'T LIE

Finally, I posted video of a dog apparently having a crazy dream.

Mary F. disagrees: "The video that you are showing is not of a dreaming dog. It is a dog having a seizure. Sadly, I have had to watch my own dog have seizures too many times and do not find that video in the least amusing."

Here's the video. I'm no expert, but I would bet big money that dog is having a dream, not a seizure. If anyone is a veterinarian out there..

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