Venus, Mars; as different as these planets are, in a business setting, women are often perceived equally as different from their male counterparts. Unfortunately in business, these differences carry forward as men play by a different set of rules than women.

Men can be jerks or SoB’s and while they may not be liked, their brash tactics are often deemed “acceptable” at work. At the other end of the spectrum, if a guy is flagged as too nice or considered a wimp, he is road-kill on the corporate highway.

Women in comparison have a corporate polarity that is opposite of their male equivalents. Quick, decisive, confrontational, direct; welcome to "B***hland," home of the female outcasts that everyone placates and tries to avoid. At the polar opposite end of the spectrum; mom or nurturer, acceptable and welcome behavior for the ladies.

Russ Edelman
President & CEO
of Corridor
Consulting

Ridiculous? Absolutely? Accurate in today’s society? Unfortunately.

The reality is that there is still a fundamental set of common challenges faced by men and women at work.

Women however, have an additional burden to bear as an aggressive nature is quickly misinterpreted rather than rewarded. In this regard, there are a number of key techniques and lessons to be learned that will allow them to reduce the "B***h" factor and increase the success factor.

Let’s take a look at some data first.

In support of our book, "Nice Guys Can Get The Corner Office," we surveyed over 350 people of which 46% were women. The data was telling in that almost 2/3’s of those surveyed felt that they were too nice and consequently, didn’t believe that they had achieved maximum success. In order to achieve more success, they felt that they needed to employ more aggressive techniques. However, the message from those surveyed, as well from myself and my co-authors, was that being too aggressive can prove problematic.

This is especially true with women who quickly move into the "B***h" quadrant.

In terms of commonality (between men and women), there are a number of key strategies that can be employed including the following:

1. Silence or pausing can be powerful as it allows one to gather his or her thoughts before reacting to situations.
2. Don’t take situations and confrontations personally. Discern the issue from the people and approach it with a business and not a personal perspective.
3. Establish and defend your boundaries that can otherwise be compromised when others try to infringe. With all of these concepts, the key is to find a balance that allows both men and women to remain nice; yet to also assert one’s self without being abused.

For women, some great tips were garnered from a number of the executives that we interviewed.

Sam DiPiazza, CEO of PricewaterhouseCoopers spoke about the importance of treating women as women and not men. This doesn’t mean that they should be held any less accountable; simply that communications with women can have different nuances than those with men.

Dr. Tori Haring-Smith, President of William Jefferson College in Pennsylvania shared an important message regarding her success as a female executive. She likes to ask directed questions. “It fosters ownership,” she says. “For instance, I might say, ‘I hear that you want us to raise tuition radically this year. Let us explore that for a minute. Which of our currently enrolled students would not be able to attend if we did that? Do we care? What will this do to our reputation?’ “So I go through a series of questions trying to point people in the right direction rather than quickly saying, ‘No. Don’t you realize the ramifications if we did that?’ This technique has proven very effective and serves as a great example as to how the "B***h" factor can become a non issue.

Maggie Craddock is the Founder and Chief Executive Officer of Workplace Relations and adviser and coach for Fortune 100 CEOs. For women who are too nice, Craddock indicated “there are times when you have to growl, be firm, and push back.” She also indicated the importance of “being strategic about when and how you do it.”

Ultimately, the right answer for both genders is one of balance. Both extremes, regardless of gender are unacceptable.

However, when women can use some of these techniques, they’ll be better positioned to avoid the "B***h" tag, remain nice and keep the mom role at home (if applicable).

More Executive Strategy:

• 100 Best Companies To Work For - If You're A Woman
• You Want To Understand Women? Good Luck
• Execs: To Tweet, Or Not To Tweet?
• The Battle Of The Sexes In The Boardroom
• CNBC's Ultimate Jobs Survival Guide

______________________________________________

Russ Edelman is President & CEO of Corridor Consulting and founder of Nice Guy Strategies, LLC (NGS) and the author of “Nice Guys Can Get The Corner Office: Eight Strategies for Winning in Business Without Being a Jerk.”
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