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Funny Business
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SUN MICRO-STUPID?
Long struggling Sun Microsystems [JAVA
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] balks at a $7 billion takeover offer from IBM [IBM
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]. Some believe this could mean the end of the road, an unprofitable Sun-set. What are they drinking in their Java?
TEARS FOR JEERS
An emotional Allen Stanford tells ABC News [DIS
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] that charges he bilked investors out of $8 billion is a bunch of "baloney". Accusations that he laundered money for Mexican drug cartels made him especially upset. "If you say it to my face again, I'm gonna punch you in the mouth."
CRIME PAYS
Tax revenues are so low out west that California and Nevada are letting some criminals walk free rather than pay the $10,000 per prisoner it often costs to extradite them. There's even talk in some places of suspending the death penalty...due to cost.
BALK THE LINE
Yankees pitcher Joba Chamberlain was arrested for drunk driving last fall, but video of his field sobriety test was made public this week. Inside the squad car he complains about New Yorkers ("They might hit you") and Yankees legend Yogi Berra ("He might not be as tall as the front of your door"). As Yogi once said, "All pitchers are liars or crybabies."
CH CH CH CHEESY
Chia Pet releases the Chia Obama (see my previous post), calling it "patriotic" to sell busts of our new President with plant material growing out of his head. Walgreens [WAG
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And the winner is...
MURKY MERKIN
Ezra Merkin, the fund manager, philanthropic titan, and former GMAC Financial Services chairman, faces civil charges (note: not criminal) that he allegedly lied to clients in funneling $2.4 billion of their money to Bernard Madoff without their permission. Merkin collected nearly $500 million in fees along the way. Many of those clients were colleges and charities. Nice!
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