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Whether the deals are better than what shoppers will usually see or if it is just another marketing tactic, with Hitha Prabhakar, Style File Group; Brad Wilson, BlackFriday2009.com and CNBC's Jane Wells.

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Apr.13

10:38 AM ET

Monday, 13 Apr 2009

Live Like Madoff, Without The Downside

Posted By:Jane Wells

Topics:Bernard Madoff | Media | Print Media

Sectors:Media

Provided by: David Moye
Keating Armed Guard
The Keating Hotel, a quirky, high-end boutique hotel in San Diego's Gaslamp Quarter, is trying to profit from America's rash of Ponzi schemers by offering an "Armed Guard Package" to guests on the lam.

Its PR folks sent us some photos (I don't believe that's a real customer, though that may be a real dog). The hotel says
Keating Armed Guard
Provided by: David Moye
Keating Armed Guard
the armed guard package allows "perpetrators like Madoff, or members of the Mexican mafia, the chance to safely walk around San Diego with two burly bodyguards to protect them from their disgruntled and bankrupt former clients." The guards will even accompany you into the hotel's gourmet restaurant. The package runs $2,500 a day, which includes the Presidential Suite, with three points of exit, as well as in-room check-in to avoid the lobby, and 24-hour armed guard protection. For an extra $200 an hour, you can also have access to "a level 3 armored car". The...target...customer (heh, heh) is not necessarily criminals, but "simply an average tourist who wants to feel like they're the target of potentially lethal attention."

Provided by: David Moye
Keating Armed Guard
And if that doesn't work...

The hotel has a second unusual offer, a Recession Package which knocks 33 percent off the cost of a second night's stay for guests "willing to wear the classic outfit of the newly poor: a top hat and a barrel with suspenders." Wear the barrel to the restaurant inside the hotel and get 15 percent off (that's all?). OR, get two free drinks at the hotel's new Sway Lounge FOR EVERY HOUR YOU SPEND WASHING DISHES. You apparently do not have to wear the barrel while you wash dishes to get the free drinks.

For those of you trying to work all the angles on this one, I figure you could get the Armed Guard Package for only $1667 on the second night if you're willing to wear a barrel. This would also allow you 15 percent off dinner at the restaurant.

And maybe you could get the guards to wash dishes while you enjoy the free drinks.

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