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Funny Business
Text Size 
Fewer women are going under the knife because of fewer dollars. So how can the plastic surgery industry survive? By pressuring us with press releases like this one:
"Study Shows Why Women Seem To Age Worse Than Do Men"
Ugh.
A Florida plastic surgeon has conducted a study which reveals that as men grow older, they look like...men. The problem is, as women grow older, they look like men, too.
Dr. Vitale-Lewis cuts to the heart of the matter by showing photographs of the same woman through the years. (This is why I never have my photo taken unless I have complete control over lighting and angle and make-up. Otherwise I'd look like Bernie Madoff.)
The photos are of 58-year-old Sandy Bozik, who was Miss Southern USA back in 1969. To combat the "masculinization" of Bozik's face, Dr. Vitale-Lewis also released before and after photos of Bozik's "Feminine Face Lift". This procedure is designed to maximize "feminine attributes...especially from the frontal view....every effort is made to duplicate the patient's younger appearance in photographs."
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Feminine Facelift |
What makes a face feminine?
Dr. Vitale-Lewis says the biggest difference is in the brow: "Specifically...it is the vertical distance between the brow and upper eyelid that can be increased to add femininity and thus attractiveness to our facial rejuvenation patients." She also says narrowing the jaw and making the face more heart-shaped restores femininity.
But hold on a minute.
Maybe I should embrace this whole masculinization thing. I mean, they say it's a man's world, right? If I look like a man, does that mean I'll make more money? Not have to help out around the house? Score a better deal buying a car? Get to walk around weekends wearing an old t-shirt while scratching myself? Engage in burping contests? Do whatever I want and not beat myself up about it?
Hmmmmm....
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Feminine Facelift |
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