CONTRIBUTORS

Cindy Perman
News Editor at CNBC.com and the author of The Pony Blog (ponyblog.cnbc.com). She has also written a book, “New York Curiosities,” and does stand-up comedy.
Jane Wells
CNBC business news reporter, based in Los Angeles, covering the defense and technology industries. She writes the CNBC.com blog Funny Business.

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ABOUT THIS BLOG

The news can get a little heavy sometimes, with debt crises, vicious markets and crappy earnings reports. So, we dispatched our crack reporters, Cindy Perman and Jane Wells, to find some levity amid all this seriousness. May we offer you a Keynesian cocktail with a side of bacon?

Why a Pony? To be clear, there were no ponies harmed in the making of this blog. The blog’s name, “There Must Be a Pony In Here Somewhere,” comes from an old joke, a favorite of Ronald Reagan’s, that essentially means, with a pile of you-know-what this big, there MUST be a pony—a bright side—in here somewhere!

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Apr.24

1:19 PM ET

Friday, 24 Apr 2009

Ee-Ee! Ooh-Ooh! Animals Get Pink Slips at Bronx Zoo

Posted By:Cindy Perman

Topics:New York City | Employment | Recession | Economy (U.S.)

Companies:Walt Disney Co

Think you’ve got problems finding a job? Yeah, well at least you have opposable thumbs.

Dramatic Lemur
Source: youtube.com
OK, try not to act surprised.

Faced with a $15 million budget shortfall, the Bronx Zoo, like other zoos across the country, is being forced to lay off some of the animals in addition to their human counterparts.

The 265-acre wildlife refuge in the middle of New York's concrete jungle is closing four exhibits and giving pink slips to hundreds of animals, including deer, bats, porcupines, foxes, lemurs and antelopes, the AP reported.

What's a laid-off lemur to do? What kind of job can you get if you’re a porcupine?

You can’t type. You can’t work a cash register. The Lion King and Madagascars 1 and 2 have already been cast. And let’s just say, with the unemployment rate barreling toward 10 percent, there aren’t many positions open that require skills such as waddling around and licking salty things. [DIS Loading... () ]

When reached for comment, one of the night monkeys said: “Ee-ee … ooh-ooh… ah-ah!,” then threw a handful of excrement at the paparazzi.

Arleen the antelope took a long drag on her cigarette and then replied: “Are you, #$%^-ing kidding me?”

Words failed the lemur when he learned of the news, but his reply was no less dramatic:

Then he promptly ate the pink slip.

But don't worry about where the next banana's coming from: These New Yorkers are going to be shipped off to other zoos across the country. You'll recognize them because they talk faster and are more surly than the animals from other regions of the country.

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