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Funny Business
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#1: TEARING DOWN THE HOUSE!
Guaranty Bank of Austin decides it's cheaper to destroy brand new homes in a foreclosed California development rather than finish and sell them.
#2: MASSAGING PROFITS
Bernie Madoff's former secretary claims the boss may have used ill-gotten gains to go to massage parlors, and she thinks he's holding back information on who else was involved in his massive Ponzi scheme.
#3: AIG wins POO
Insurance behemoth and welfare recipient AIG [AIG
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] beats out Comcast [CMCSA
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] to be "The Worst Company in America" in a Consumerist.com poll, winning "The Golden Poo Award".
#4: THE MEDIA PIGS OUT ON SWINE FLU
Turns out swine flu is not the end of the world, though you'd never know it watching TV. Still, the hysteria never reached the heights of a 1976 swine scare.
#5: MANNY OVERBOARD!
Manny Ramirez is suspended for 50 games and is out more than $7 million for taking a banned substance. The biggest losers may be the first-place Dodgers, who, without Manny, lost their first home game of the season last night.
#6: WHAT WOULD SIMON SAY?
"American Idol" is a singing contest, yet judge Paula Abdul clearly lip syncs her way through a performance on the Fox hit Wednesday night. Paula, you're not being very "Straight Up" with us.
#7: TWO, TWO, TWO SINS IN ONE!
A product called "Le Whif" bills itself as "Inhalable Chocolate", which appears to combine two unhealthy habits in one: smoking and eating chocolate. Except Le Whif claims it won't hurt your lungs and will actually help you LOSE weight. Right...
BUT THE WINNER IS! KFC'S TWO BUCKETS 'O TROUBLE
As I've blogged all week, KFC [YUM
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] has been running around like a chicken with its head cut off over two stories:
-El Colonel Loco! El Pollo Loco claims KFC executives prank called them and got busted.
-O! No! KFC has to turn away people who printed out free grilled chicken coupons from Oprah's website. The company wasn't prepared for the response. It has since apologized and will be issuing raincheck coupons (KFC US President Roger Eaton appeared on "Power Lunch" Friday to talk up the coupon promotion).
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